Woe is me....

...the TV is broken! Normally I wouldn't bother...if it's not Midsomer season or time for a new series of Dr Who I could care less (no, really) however there is a Dr Who special episode on tomorrow and we have no TV. I'm desolate.

I don't give a toss about Big Brother, Idol or Oprah...I never watch soaps and I only occasionally partake of CSI (although I quite like it...and some of those other American acronyms NCIS, Law & Order SVU - not SUV as I once said - a police show about Range Rovers). No, TV is not vital to my life. Movies are, I like a good film, but at least I can watch them on the laptop if need be.

But Dr Who....!!! It's more than a girl can bear.

Gratuitous picture of the current doctor...

...and a dalek.

New and improved

Well hello there. Finally.... I have returned. I have optimistically titled this post 'new and improved' but really only time will tell. There is every possibility that this blog is just as old and crap as it always was so don't get your hopes up.

So what has happened since last I posted anything substantial? Well, first of all....winter came...we have had fog and rain and cold (I know you've missed my weather reports).

Then it got really cold....it was this cold this morning.

Brrrrr.

Apart from that it's just been me spending a couple of months stumbling around in a fog of melancholy and confusion. It seems that after quite a few years of having life a certain way I woke up and found that things had changed. They'd changed in a good way, but suddenly I had access to the person I used to be before I was a mother. Suddenly I had the time and space in my life to be the old me a bit more. Trouble was I couldn't remember who the old me really was or what I used to do (oh by the way, I'm still a mother - I haven't sold them on eBay, tempting as that might be). I won't go on about my recent experiences in this post but I can't promise I won't mention it again. Because it's been interesting (for me anyway) and as you know, the more trivial, self absorbed and inane a topic....the more I want to write about it. You're warned.

As well as not blogging, I've hardly even been reading my favourite blogs, so I'm now doing the rounds trying to catch up on everyone's posts - so you'll be finding a comment or two from me. I was reminded in an email from a blogging friend recently that one of the best things about doing this crazy blogging thing is the community that develops and the cyber friends you make (not to be confused with Cybermen - because they're just creepy and not that friendly). She's absolutely right. I didn't start this with that in mind, but it's been a bonus.

So I'm glad to be back, thank you to all of my cybermen cyber friends who commented supportively and also those who were supportive by email. I hope you don't live to regret it as I come crashing back into the blogosphere.

Photo credit BBC

Timey wimey stuff...

For fans of Dr Who you will recognise the title of this post as an accurate scientific term - if you're not fans of Dr Who then I'm sorry I can't help you.

Well, there appears to be a tear in the space and time continuum because I went to bed on Monday night and the next thing I knew it was Thursday morning. I have no idea how this happened (no, I wasn't drunk) but it's happening a lot lately. Right now I cannot keep up with the speed at which time is passing. I note, with increasing panic, that it is only 3 weeks until the next school holidays. Which has to be impossible because we only had the last school holidays what seems like 4 days ago and frankly if you hit me with more school holidays right now I may implode. I say implode rather than explode because exploding sounds decidedly messy and let's face it, it will be me cleaning it up so we'll stick to imploding thanks.

I really do try to stay positive and upbeat about this 'time flying' thing - you know saying things like...'woo hoo, it's nearly Christmas' (eeeek!) but all I can see hurtling towards me are school holidays, Uni assignments and yes, Christmas - and I'm not a fan of Christmas.

I can't believe I was babbling on about hippies and hommous a few days ago when my life is disappearing before my very eyes!! What to do, what to do. I guess there's not much I can do, just brace myself and hold on in the sure and certain knowledge that Christmas is coming and on that day time will come to a standstill for 24 hours and I'll be doing some more imploding.

Next Thursday will be a good day

Last Thursday I wrote a 'to do' list. When I regained consciousness I hyperventilated. When that stopped I passed out again. So now I carry a brown paper bag everywhere with me and have a cotton ball soaked in smelling salts permanently taped to my nose. Because I'm freaking out just slightly. And that is why, yesterday, in one day, I wrote 2 assignments. Granted, they are very likely the crappest assignments I've ever written, but they're done. I still have one to do, and at the rate I'm knocking them out that should be finished by lunchtime. Except this one is hard dammit.

When that is finished I will commence marking the 3 million assignments that my students have kindly completed for me. I will need drugs and alcohol to get me through that I can tell you.

When that is finished I will be back at work for my last 2 days. I will be clearing my desk, emptying my bookcase and packing up the books, clearing out my computer files, removing pictures, photos and other paraphenalia from my walls, archiving old crap, chucking a ton of stuff in the recycling bin and probably marking some more assignments that panicky little bastards students are trying to get to me before I leave. I mean, really, it's not like it's nuclear holocaust or anything there are other lecturers that can mark your damn assignments! Pfft.

When that is finished I will be drinking. Cocktails. FREE cocktails. And farewelling my colleagues and accepting gifts (I'm not being presumptious here, they've told me there are gifts). And drinking some more, because, well....I'm leaving and the booze is free. So possibly getting tipsy and doing some serious bridge burning with my boss.

When that is finished I'm coming home to put my feet up and watch the first episode of the new series of Dr Who.

Unemployed.