A post…of sorts

Well, here I am posting to my blog, for no other reason than to get Dave to stop nagging me.

One of the reasons I’m not posting is that I’m too exhausted or busy when I’m actually at home. I hate posting at work because, while I'm happy (indeed keen), to whip up a quick post in my lunch break I absolutely loathe the blogger posting page. It annoys me and messes with the formatting and is generally displeasing and time consuming. I prefer Windows Live Writer but don't have it on my work computer. Excuse made.

So, what's new in Caitlin's world I hear you ask (you did ask didn't you?). Well, there have been a few developments since January. I was asked to move to a new job (with the same organisation) and I accepted. I've been in the new role for a couple of months now, it's ok. Not quite what I'd hoped but I have a very good boss who is keen to let me develop the job to my liking and at the same time hopefully improve the processes we currently use. So, fingers crossed it all works out that way. If not, I’ll be moving on. Life’s too short.

Other than that it's been business as usual. No amazing new adventures to declare, no exciting plans to travel the world and no new children, pets or husbands to report.

If this is all a bit dull for you…sorry, but imagine what it must be like for me.

This is not a resolution

You may recall that I'm not one for resolutions...why set myself up for failure I say? However I do like to set goals. Goals seem friendlier than resolutions, something to aim for rather than something I resolve to do, then don't do, then beat myself up for not doing.

As always the year began with me leaping head first into 'what can I take on???' mode. I always do it. I get excited about a brand new year and start to plan all the things I'll do with it - courses, workshops, meditations, journalling groups, book groups... for me, those old 'hounds of more' are at their most enthusiastic at new year. Somewhere in the last couple of days, however, I've stopped myself. I paused, examined my habit of over-committing and decided not to do it. Just like that.

It was also right about then I decided my 'word for 2011' is SIMPLIFY. Such a lovely word. 365 project (ok I did sign up, but I then deleted my account) and the Artist's Way group and joining several other groups and forums I was invited to, I just...didn't. Because I know that while my enthusiasm for these things doesn't diminish, my time and energy for them does.

So in the interest of simplication here is my goal for Bridget's Flame this year.

• 
  
  A couple of posts of week... if I can...more if I feel the need or have something to say.

Now I know you've heard it all before...but before I also made a lot of promises to other commitments. My sincere hope is that by keeping my extracurricular activities to an absolute minimum I can go back to basics and just enjoy my blog. I have also organised myself an editorial calendar...much less grand than it sounds...I've just put in a couple of recurring calendar reminders. Because as difficult as this may be to believe, these days a lot of the time I don't post because I'm out of the habit and I forget. How feeble is that?

Blogging stamina

I have none.  I had a good go for a few days there and then lost my energy for it and it all came to a standstill again.

Never mind, I’m not giving up.

Not much to report here, Hannah has finally recovered enough to go back to school. She ended up with an ear infection and slight perforation to the ear drum.  She doesn’t do things by halves that girl.

So life has returned to relative normality. 

It’s almost the weekend (huzzah!) and I am absolutely knackered and can’t wait to have a couple of days off.

Roll on Friday 5pm!

The winter of my discontent

I’m quite surprised to find myself here writing a blog post so I can only imagine how surprised anyone reading it might be.

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about this blog recently, shall I keep it?, should I stop completely?, should I try to do one post a week?…do I need anymore ‘to do’ or ‘shoulds’ in my life? ‘should I continue to use appalling grammar?’

I don’t know.  I used to enjoy it (the blog not the bad grammar), I don’t anymore.  It’s not that I don’t have thoughts and feelings and plans and ‘stuff’ happening that I could write about.  I just don’t like it here anymore.  I still like the idea of blogging, I just don’t like this blog.  I’ve moved on, grown out of it, changed my direction (or should I say my directionless-ness, for I don’t think I’ve had any real direction for a long time and now I just have a new set of directionless issues).

I’d still like to talk about what I’m thinking, what’s happening Chez Bridget’s Flame, who annoys me, makes me happy, makes me laugh, frustrates me, inspires me and so on.  And I’m sure everyone is dying to hear all that crap fascinating information.

With spring just around the corner here in the arse end of the world, perhaps I will suddenly have a new lease on my blogging life and feel inspired to re-invent my blog identity. 

Perhaps.

Photo credit this blog right here

Couldn’t resist this photo…I love winter but the image still made me smile.

Honest blogging

After my post today I received a lot of encouragement and support via comments and emails.  I was invited over to Laoi’s blog (I think she actually said ‘ahem! please go and see my blog young lady’) so I went…and this was there waiting for me…..

along with these words….

* Speak our truth from the heart and tell it like it is.
* Share openly and honestly our true feelings without fear of judgement, Blame or shame.
* We write to share our achievements so others can also share our joy.
* We write about our bad times too, knowing that the love and support of others is around us and perhaps heal another’s pain in the process..
*We are human beings will real feelings and emotions and REFUSE to hide behind a mask.
* We dare to be different
* We are Free Spirits
* We realise that by spilling out, we lighten our load.
* We acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses and don't see them in terms of success or failure.
* We laugh together and cry together
* We are all following our own journey in our own unique way

Thank you so very much Laoi, I need to get all this stupid crap out of my head and my blog is really the best place to do it and I am so grateful that you have all made it clear to me that it’s ok to do that.   So this week I’m going to write it…all of it…even the horrible, ugly, ego driven stuff that I’m not proud of AT ALL.

Brace yourselves people.

The world turns

Well here I am again, popping up when you least expect it. Life is no less busy, the temporary job I was doing was extended another four weeks, that four weeks is up next Friday but they don’t seem to have any plans to let me go. 

I’m a bit conflicted about it all, I like working there even though the work is not what I normally do.  I know it won’t challenge me for long (it doesn’t really challenge me now but it’s interesting enough to hold my attention).   It’s a nice working environment and probably has some potential for future work that is more in my field.   However I sometimes can’t help feeling I’m just ‘settling’ for something less than I am capable of and avoiding stepping out into the world and actually doing something I want to do.

One of the reasons I haven’t been blogging is that my life is just full of this incessant internal dialogue of whining and moaning and indecision and it seems grossly unfair to inflict others with it.  I bore myself, it certainly wouldn’t be entertaining for anyone else.

So I’ll continue my inner debate and occasionally pop by to let you know I’m still alive.

In the meantime if anyone has any idea how I can get my mojo back I’m all ears.

 

Countdown

I only have two days until I have to start work full time again (only for a month though).  All of a sudden, after having nearly 4 weeks off,  I’ve thought about a load of things I need to do.

So now I’m frantically trying to do them.

Blogging isn’t one of them.

I don’t know why I do this, maybe I overestimate the time I have available or underestimate what needs to be done. Or maybe I just hide and procrastinate.  After all I wouldn’t want to succeed would I?

One day I need to think about this. In the meantime I need to get on with some work so please excuse the brief post while I try to do something productive.

If it’s Tuesday….

…it must be swimming lessons.  Not for me you understand but for my daughters. But not until this afternoon.  This morning I am continuing to work on business type stuff.  It’s nice, Jack is asleep on my feet under the desk, he always lies there when I work.  When I was working ‘outside the home’ I missed having him there with me.  Apparently they had some stupid rule that said people couldn’t take their dogs to work. We all consoled ourselves and each other by looking at photos of each others’ dogs, praising their loveliness and talking about them a lot.  We did a bit of work as well but that wasn’t as much fun.

Later on I shall meet ‘M’ and retrieve my children and take said children to their swimming lesson.   Then I have to come home and cook for the freezer (that is cook food to put in the freezer not cook food for the freezer to eat, but I’m pretty sure you’d worked that out yourselves).

I did manage to do some work yesterday and I’ve made a bit of a start this morning.  After reading about Dave’s gorgeous new live-in lady and shedding a tear over Laoi’s civil war letter and reading numerous other blog posts of course. 

But now…back to it.

Habit Forming

Yes, here am I again…at the risk of giving Dave a heart attack I’m blogging 3 DAYS IN A ROW. I’m trying to get back into the habit of blogging.  ‘They’ say you have to do a thing for 3 weeks for it to become part of your normal routine.  I’m not sure who ‘they’ are or whether or not that’s true, or indeed whether I can manage to blog consistently for 3 weeks, but at least for today it’s giving me something to write about.  Wow, that was a long sentence (which is probably what it feels like you are serving as you read this drivel). 

My grammar is crap too you may notice. 

It’s Saturday here, raining again which is lovely after the long, hot, dry summer.  Tom will be working on an essay*, so he’ll be closeted away drinking tea, muttering and tearing at his hair.  Since he’ll be hogging the laptop** I have to find some other way to entertain myself, so the girls and I will embark on some sewing projects and an art project that is due***.   I also may watch a couple of episodes of ‘Lost’.   All in all a lovely way to spend my day I think.

*Not sure if I’ve mentioned Tom is back at University doing a Masters in Science and Public Policy? Well. He is.

** I still have my iPhone so I won’t be totally removed from my beloved interwebs and email.

*** I’m doing a ‘Creative Goddess’ e-course which involves lots of fun with my paints and pastels and other arty materials and little forays into Art Land.  Something I’ve been neglecting for years.

So…what does the weekend have in store for you my lovelies?

 

Hopeless

That’s me, completely hopeless. I had every intention of doing at least a couple of posts a week. In case you hadn’t noticed it hasn’t happened. I’d like to use the fact that I’ve been ill for a week as an the excuse. So I will. No really, I’m not well. Horrible flu thing with violent coughing, achy joints, snuffly nose, croaky voice. It’s not a pretty sight … or sound.

Anyway, here I am now. With very little to report other than the afore mentioned flu.

If things had been different I had hoped to report on the party I went to on Saturday night and the Art and Wine festival we attended on Sunday (we had invitations to two different wineries). Sadly I didn’t get to any of them due to, you guessed it, the flu.

I should have had that flu shot.

Instead I shall report that I complained a lot, slept a lot, and played Farmville. Until today that is….but I’ll save that for another post (see Dave, I’m getting the hang of it now!).

The post I promised Dave I’d do last week…

….then didn’t do so then promised I’d do at the weekend and am now doing. Hark at that appalling grammar – go on folks have a field day.

The End.

Just kidding.

Sigh. I’m really struggling to get into blogging again.  I want to, I really do but it’s been so long since I’ve done it regularly that I’m out of the habit (I’m talking about blogging people…blogging!).  I plan to, I open up Live Writer then I stare at the empty page for a while and suddenly remember that I have something very important to do.  I’m like this…

 

It’s just not in the forefront of my mind any more.  However I want it to be.  I want to get back to the days when I’d regularly think to myself ‘I must blog this’ and I’d take my camera everywhere to be sure to capture any blog fodder digitally.  So, I’m going to try to remedy this by setting a goal for two posts a week (at least) to begin with.  If that goes well then I’ll set a new goal. 

Be warned the results may be even worse than they used to be.  Bear with me please. 

Move along people, nothing to see here…

I’m a bit concerned that keeping a blog will be a big challenge just now because I don’t have anything to write about. I mean I could give you daily reports on my job but it bores me senseless so I can only imagine how mind numbing it would be to hear it second hand.

You see, I’m just not doing much else. I work, I come home, I do the evening chores, I go to bed.

At the weekend I do the shopping, the cleaning, the washing, the ironing. Then I cook for a few hours, filling the freezer with meals for the next week. Then I make sandwiches and freeze them, sort out various snacks into containers and zip locks ready to pack into lunch boxes each evening during the week. By then it’s Sunday night, I collapse into a chair with a glass of wine and watch Midsomer (often dozing off halfway through). That’s pretty much my week.

No exactly riveting is it?

Blog makeover

As you can see the makeover has commenced. It needs a little tweaking here and there but ultimately this is more or less how things will be. I’m quite happy with it so far.

I’m particularly pleased with my new 3 column look. I like 3 columns. Better use of space. I’m somewhat happy with my new header…it’s more ‘me’. If you are interested in creating a third column there are loads of tutorials online, I used this one…it was excellent - very quick, very easy and nothing went wrong.

There are a couple of new posts for your perusal. The new ‘about me’ page and the new ‘100 things’ page which I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for.

I have also discovered the most wonderful thing for writing blog posts…I’m writing this post on it and I am beside myself with pleasure over it’s efficiency. It’s here and it’s free to download.

You can write your blog posts from your desktop and it deals with all those annoying formatting issues that come with blogs…especially where it doesn’t like stuff you cut and paste from Word or when it gets all messed up when you insert a picture. When you press ‘publish’ as if by magic your post appears on the blog. Seriously, check it out. It’s brilliant.

So I still have a couple of little bits and pieces to do here, a few images that need updating. I also have plans to purchase Bridget’s Flame it’s very own domain name – clearly the relationship is serious, it’s time I made a commitment.

Excuse the mess

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that the blog was going to get a makeover for it's blogiversary. Hopefully that will be gradually happening over the next few days (or not). If you stop by and find things a little chaotic, don't be alarmed - it's just the renovation in progress. If you stop by and find the blog missing completely please be alarmed...it means I've screwed it up.

Better remember to back everything up before I start.

We're two today!!

Bridget's Flame (the blog) is two today!

It doesn't seem that long ago that I embarked on this crazy journey, spilling my guts to complete strangers in a very public way. But here I am, 2 years on and still doing it (albeit somewhat erratically).

For it's birthday I am giving the blog a makeover, not today...too busy, but over the next week or two (or three...depending how things go).

ALSO... Dave and Z follow this blog now (over there...on the right)! Thank you both.

A change would be a fine thing

..don't you think?

I think I need a bit of a change, the blog needs an upgrade...I'm bored with the template and the banner (although I took that photo, lovely isn't it?). So sometime in the next week or two I shall do some blog housekeeping. I'm just warning you in case you click over, see something unfamiliar and click away again apologising profusely for the intrusion - like when you walk in on someone in the bathroom, or in a state of undress or whatever.

Not much other news today, took the girls to their swimming lesson (last day tomorrow), bought strawberries on the way home and now I have some work (real, paid work) to do. Which I am obviously procrastinating about...but you knew that didn't you?

One more thing...tomorrow.... look at the maximum!!! Yikes! I might expire.

Oh... another 'one more thing'...I have a follower...look over there on the right...

I feel special now.

The reluctant blogger

That's me.

I just haven't felt much felt like it for the past few days. Nothing serious, just busy being on holiday with Tom and the girls. I'm sure when things get back to 'normal' I'll regain my interest but right now it's a bit all over the place.

I've also been giving a lot of thought to 2009 and deciding what I want to do and how I intend to go about doing it. It's all very deep and profound (not really). I'm looking forward to this year and I feel quite positive about it, but still a little uncertain of my direction. This is nothing new, I've been having this internal debate for about 6 months and I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads. I think I just need to make a decision and get on with it.

So if the posts continue to be erratic you'll know why.

Settling in

I'm struggling to get back to any kind of routine after the festive season. It took me ages to unpack all the bags after our holiday and I still feel that everything is just a little disorganised (except my bathroom cabinet which I cleaned out yesterday). Of course we have another 3+ weeks of school holidays so it will be some time before we get back to complete normality ('normal' being a relative term around here).

Next week is shaping up to be very busy, the girls will be doing daily swimming lessons and although Tom is still on holiday he has some contract work to complete and I have a number of things I MUST do for the business. We'll be battling for computer time and fighting over whose turn it is to take the girls to their swimming lesson, should be a fun week.

I feel I should say something about the future, this being a brand new year and all. I have no resolutions for 2009, I don't really 'do' resolutions - I can never keep them - but I have a lot of hope that this will be a much better year than 2008. I also have some personal and business 'goals', things I'd like to achieve rather than things I resolve to do (or not do). Most of all I hope to make 2009 a happier year by enjoying the journey a bit more, taking it all a bit less seriously, having more 'fun' (whatever that is) and getting away for short breaks more often. I don't expect this year to be any less busy than last year was, but I'd like to handle it a bit better by remembering to stop occasionally.

This year I will try not to be a slave to stress and worry and sadness.

And I'll keep blogging, my second blogiversary is coming up, can't quit now.

Merry Christmas

Wishing you a Merry Christmas,
Solstice Greetings, Yuletide Blessings
and a very Happy New Year!

Thank you to all my blog friends for the entertainment,
laughs, tears, love, support, and kindness that
you have provided over the past year!

I'm looking forward to even more of it in 2009!

Packing and preparing

Today will be spent sorting, organising and packing for our week at the beach house. I have about 20 lists (I'm a list maker) but the only thing I'm really worried about is forgetting a vital Christmas present and having a child think Santa has let them down.

We have a quiet week planned down there, the girls will spend a couple of days with their Grandparents and I intend to spend much of the time lying around reading interspersed with the occasional beach walk. Thursday will be the obligatory family Christmas lunch then back to the beach house for more relaxing.

Oh and there's some cricket thing happening too, my job is to provide crayons and throw shrimps at a barbie apparently.

During my absence there will be a few random posts scheduled all over the place to keep you guessing. Unfortunately as there is no internet connection where I am (not even a phone...what bliss!) I will be unable to visit my favourite blogs so you'll get a break from my comments. I will catch up on our return though so you're warned.