Five things that get me through the days

I’m not always very good at self-care. I’m well aware I’m not alone in this so I won’t lament too strongly. As I get older though, I’ve started to recognise some really basic things I need to do to get me through the days. That doesn’t mean I always do them, I just know what they are and I try to do them as much as I can.  Here they are…

1. Meditation.  I’ve spoken before about the fact that, even as a meditation teacher, my practice can be erratic. Even so, I KNOW with every fibre of my being that I need to do this every day, even just 5 minutes is better than not at all. It is the rock that supports my little body/mind temple and without it things are very wobbly indeed.

2. Green Smoothies. Yeah, yeah I know, they’re a bit of a trend right now, but I was introduced the world of the green smoothie about 12 months ago (by my kinesiologist) and I can absolutely swear that when I’m having my daily smoothie I am a happier and more energetic gal than when I’m not having them. I’m busy and I don’t always eat properly, the smoothie ensures a good dose of health in a glass and I can get away with a glass of wine for dinner instead of food (oh come on, I’m kidding…kind of).  On work days I make it before I dash out the door, pour it into a ‘to go’ cup and have it in the car on the drive to the big smoke. Then my friends, I set the frickin’ world on fire. Seriously. Ask anyone.

3. Yoga. I spend a lot of time at the computer, my work depends on it and so does my business.  I seize up. Yoga fixes that, I’m not a yogi in any big way, I don’t go to a class but I do yoga stretches during the day and a session with a DVD a couple of times a week.  Good for the body and the mind and ace at keeping me flexible enough to…I dunno... do bendy stuff.

4. Creativity. I’m only just getting back to my arty creativity after a pretty long break but I’ve come to realise that it is really, really important to me.  When I draw (or paint or create in some way) I become absorbed. I’m no longer caught up in the monkey mind that plagues me a lot of the time. It’s a like a kind of busy meditation, I get so lost in my art I lose track of time.  I don’t think about work, or the business, or the phone calls I need to make, or the bills I have to pay, or the people that take up way too much space in my mind for no damn good reason. I relax. Apparently I’m more pleasant to be around as well. Who knew?

5. Spending time with Tom and our two girls and smooching the velvety nose of my puppy Jack.  No brainer really, these three people/one dog are my crack cocaine and I need a hit every single day. When we’re apart my equilibrium is seriously compromised and I become fractious. You wouldn’t like me when I’m fractious.

So that’s it, five little things. Obviously there are more things I enjoy and need on a regular basis - nature, exercise, Dr Who… but really, the five mentioned above are the things that keep me alive and breathing and functioning in the world without getting locked up.  They don’t cure all my dysfunctions but they’re a good start.

Allowing Creativity

For a long time I haven't exercised my creative side...actually, that's not entirely true, I have been creative, just not artistically creative in the way I used to be.  I'm not beating myself up over this, I've had a lot to do, raising children, working, running a business, being a wife, looking after a home, keeping a blog (albeit erratically).  But...my easel lies empty...my paints have dried up...my art supplies box gathers dust.  Over time I've had little whispers from the part of me that misses making art. Sometimes I've answered soothingly that one day I'll get back to it, sometimes (most times) I've just ignored it.  Like many ignored things the whispers became more insistent...so that they were not so much whispers anymore as irritated hisses, then shouts, then heart aches and lustful thoughts of long afternoons abandoned to acrylic, oil and pastel. 

A couple of months ago I decided that there was never going to be a convenient time to get arty again.  There would always be something to do, someone needing my attention and/or a job to be done. I couldn't put it off any longer, I had to create, but I've forgotten how. I struggled to see where it would fit in my life nowadays...I still don't really have an answer to that.  What I did decide however, is that I was going to drop some other things for a while and give that time to art. I looked for inspiration and found it here and joined up, being an EssCee* seems like a calling.

Then I decided that for the month of August I would take a little break from social media, let my friends out there in the Twitter, Facebook and Google+ lands miss me a little and devote some time to getting all painty and gluey.

So now what?  Today I will pull out my art supplies and see what's there (and still usable).  I may shop for replacements. I may doodle a little in an art journal I bought several years ago that still lies pristine and untouched. I may rummage through my collage images and I may actually begin a project.  I'll see how the spirit moves me...but it will be baby steps, all the way.

I’m hoping this creative break also includes more blogging. 

*S.C. Spiritual Creative

Halfway

We’re now more than halfway through 2011.  No idea how that happened.

I thought it might be a good time to revisit my plans/goals for 2011.  In January I decided my word for the year was SIMPLIFY.  I wrote about it here.  I also mentioned a ‘20 things’ list I’d made for that.  Now, for my benefit more than anything (sorry to bore you, feel free to click away), I’m going to revisit that list and see how it’s going (I’m not doing all 20 today).

1. Reduce working hours. I have reduced by one day a fortnight. This isn’t enough and I am discussing it further with my manager when he returns from overseas at the end of August. My goal is to work 3 days a week.

2. Declutter – own less.  Working very gradually on this, have decluttered the wardrobe, some kitchen cupboards and a chest of drawers – this item needs more work. A lot more work.

3.  Reduce online presence.  I’m now only a member of one forum group however I have added Google+ to my social networking.  I do use Hootsuite now which keeps it all together but G+ isn’t on there yet.

4. Meal plan, bulk shop and bulk cook. Ummm….no.

5. Create a household folder – contacts, buzz lists, account numbers and insurance details etc. Nope.

6. Unsubscribe from newsletters, websites etc. Yes! Yes I have done this for all but a couple of favourites. Go me.

7. Combine online stuff – Google reader, email, photos, music etc – one log in would be nice. I changed my personal email to Gmail and do a lot in Google now which is good.  I haven’t moved photos from Flickr to Picasa or anything.  This is a work in progress because I’m not actually enjoying Gmail very much so it could all change.

8.  Bundle phones, internet, mobiles etc. Some of it is and some of it isn’t, I can’t decide if I really want all my eggs in one basket despite the apparent savings you make by doing so.

9.  Stop buying stationery I don’t need. *Whistles and wanders away to look at fascinating mark on the wall….*

10.  Set up automatic payments for ALL bills.  Nearly there with this one, still a couple to organise.

Ok, that’ll do. I’ll give myself 6/10 for this effort and to be fair to myself I think that if I can achieve number 1 then a lot of the others will become more achievable.

Nothing of interest has happened…

…since I posted yesterday.

Last night Aislin went off to a ‘sleepover’ birthday party and Hannah enjoyed being an only child for 24 hours. She took full advantage of not having to negotiate and compromise the Saturday night activities. We watched Megamind.

She has a cold and I notice I now have a sore throat.  Why is it, that after a busy time, when the body finally relaxes, it often gets sick?  I suppose I should be grateful it didn’t happen in the midst of last week’s busyness, but I didn’t want it for this week either thank you very much.

Dinner tonight is poached chicken.  I may have a glass of wine…for medicinal purposes only of course.

Tally ho.

Saturday morning

I was very happy to see the weekend this week, work has been busy…and I mean chaotically, crazily, non-stop, exhaustingly busy.      

I didn’t enjoy that much.

Not only did I not blog, Facebook friends may have noticed that I wasn’t around there much.  I did pop by long enough to see Z’s hens waiting for morning tea and to hear from Dave that blogger was down (which clearly I hadn’t noticed for myself), I also saw that Donna has a new job and Nicola sold her house.  I was too tired to even tell everyone I was too busy to update. 

On the upside I managed to complete 4 major projects that have been hanging over my head, so at least I can sleep again. Of course that just means they will immediately be replaced by something else, but for now I’m in denial about that.

Last weekend came and went in a flash, we had a number of engagements and of course Mother’s Day (which wasn’t nearly as relaxing as I would have liked) but Tom and the girls still treated me to breakfast in bed which was nice, if a bit rushed.

This weekend is shaping up to be a little bit busy too but hopefully I will have time to blog again and perhaps even do a little advance blogging for next week.  It’s not that there’s no news…just not much time to pass it on. 

As you were.

Peaceful…

…that’s been the last few days.  Although Thursday was spent clothes shopping for the children (why do they grow out of everything simultaneously and seemingly overnight?). It was actually an enjoyable day despite the whole shopping thing.

On Thursday night we attended the Holy Thursday Mass, and on Friday morning we did the Stations of the Cross at the girls’ school.  Each class had made a Station (some made two) so it was lovely for them (and us) to participate in that using the Stations they had helped create.  In the afternoon we went to the Passion Mass. 

Dinner last night was Atlantic salmon, scalloped potatoes, asparagus and cauliflower – there was some wine also.  In case you were wondering.

I’ve been on holiday for over a week and only just managing to feel ok about not doing anything.  I’m finding it so hard to relax these days, even with meditation – being so constantly busy during term time it takes me a long time to slow down…I probably will be quite mellow by Wednesday…just in time to go back to work. 

Today is looking to be another peaceful one, quiet day at home, reading, napping and perhaps watch a movie later.  Tonight is the Easter Vigil Mass so once again we’ll toddle off to St Matthews – it’s all fire and candles tonight.

Tomorrow there will be chocolate.

Looking back…

…on my optimistic January post I can’t help but feel a little disappointed at my lack of progress.

Here’s an update…

Simplify

Not a complete failure here, I have been quite ruthless about simplifying some areas of my life. The ridiculous amount of online activity for a start. I now have Facebook, Twitter (which is still under review) a couple of forums I contribute to irregularly and the very few blogs which I now read from Google Reader*. My own blog was never on the hit list for online simplifying but it seems to have been an unintentional casualty anyway.

There are many other areas that I have not yet simplified. I did write a ‘20 things’** list and I probably need to revisit it. 4/10 for simplifying.

Enjoy Peace

Hmmm, well I do still attempt this and have had some success. My meditation practice is erratic but at least more regular than it has been for a couple of years. I attended our Parish Retreat a couple of weeks ago which was a wonderful day of peace and intend to more of those this year. I am being more conscious of my busy-ness and stress levels, trying to breathe more. I’d give this 3/10.

Create

Fail. Absolutely no creative work has taken place, some of my job type work requires a certain amount of creativity but that’s not what I had in mind here. No art, no craft, no knitting or even interior decorating to express my creativity. 0/10

Write

Reports and project work yes – and that has its place. The kind of writing I want to do. No. 1/10 (because those reports require effort).

Hug trees

This is meant to encompass any communing with nature. I’ve planted some flat leafed parsley. ‘Nuff said. ½ /10

Rest

I wish. 0/10

Clearly I was either over-optimistic about what I can achieve or I’m just not trying.

* The downside of viewing in Google reader is I can’t comment which I find a bit frustrating. The alternative is to click over to the blogs and comment…which defeats the purpose of reading them in GR. I need to think more about this.

** I use a ‘20 things list’ for all kinds of projects. If there’s something I want to do, some project I want to complete or a goal I want to achieve, I quickly jot down 20 things I need to do – without thinking too deeply about it. Sometimes there are more than 20, but I always start with 20 or I get overwhelmed. It’s just something that works for me. Usually.

A post…of sorts

Well, here I am posting to my blog, for no other reason than to get Dave to stop nagging me.

One of the reasons I’m not posting is that I’m too exhausted or busy when I’m actually at home. I hate posting at work because, while I'm happy (indeed keen), to whip up a quick post in my lunch break I absolutely loathe the blogger posting page. It annoys me and messes with the formatting and is generally displeasing and time consuming. I prefer Windows Live Writer but don't have it on my work computer. Excuse made.

So, what's new in Caitlin's world I hear you ask (you did ask didn't you?). Well, there have been a few developments since January. I was asked to move to a new job (with the same organisation) and I accepted. I've been in the new role for a couple of months now, it's ok. Not quite what I'd hoped but I have a very good boss who is keen to let me develop the job to my liking and at the same time hopefully improve the processes we currently use. So, fingers crossed it all works out that way. If not, I’ll be moving on. Life’s too short.

Other than that it's been business as usual. No amazing new adventures to declare, no exciting plans to travel the world and no new children, pets or husbands to report.

If this is all a bit dull for you…sorry, but imagine what it must be like for me.

Every cloud…

 One of the few benefits of being home from work sick is that there is little to do but rest and read blogs (and Kindles).  And eventually, when feeling up to it, write a long overdue blog post.

So here it is.  In my last post I mentioned ‘change’.  You may be wondering if there has been any change, and if so, what was the nature of that change. You’ll be thinking it obviously wasn’t a change to the regularity of my posts that’s for sure.

Well, there has been some change but so far it’s been pretty subtle.  I feel like I’m starting to settle into myself a bit.  I’m not feeling so angsty and a lot of the questions I’ve been asking over the past couple of years I’m finally managing to answer.  I’ve always known that I had the answers, but for a while now I’ve had a lot of trouble accessing that inner wisdom.  More on all that another time.

Other changes have been obvious, we’ve actually managed to find some time to move forward with some of the home renovations and painting etc.  That’s been good and I’ve been gratified at how much something as simple as a coat of paint can change the energy in a place.  I have a few furniture projects I’m working on and we have new flooring going down, hopefully before Christmas.  There will be photos.

I’m doing some things for myself which is nice including a couple of online courses, one is a Soulcollage® course through ‘Daily Om ‘.   I’ve only just started so haven’t created anything yet, but I’ll post a picture when I do.

So I feel as if I’m gradually  moving into a much saner headspace than I‘ve been in for a while.  I hope it continues.

Evidence of my intolerance

Hello, my name is Caitlin and I’m gluten intolerant.

I’ve avoided writing about this, partly because I’m pretty sure no-one wants to hear the revolting details of my gastro-intestinal issue and partly because it’s really boring and partly because ‘gluten free’ is such a fad at the moment and I hate being on bandwagons.

Lots of people are gluten free for general health and wellbeing reasons and that’s fine. But it’s never been for me. I like all the stuff that has gluten in it and long ago decided that going gluten free was not a lifestyle that I’d ever adopt.

Admittedly my relationship with gluten has always been a bit fractious, it didn’t make me sick, but it did often leave me feeling bloated and uncomfortable. I was willing to ignore that to experience the joy of a hot ham and cheese croissant or a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel. Until recently that is.

A few months ago I started to experience some unpleasant symptoms in the form of a way too regular upset tummy. I can honestly say that in the beginning I did not relate it to gluten. It gradually got worse so that often, after eating, I’d have extremely nasty tummy upsets preceded by horrible, excruciating stomach pains and nausea. To cut a very long story short I eventually narrowed it down to gluten. I went off gluten and it went away. I ate gluten again and it came back with a vengeance. I visited my doctor, tests were carried out and the result is I can’t eat gluten.

The end.

Except for the fact that I am HATING it. I miss bread, I miss real pasta, I want a cinnamon bun and a turkey, rocket and cranberry baguette from my favourite coffee shop.

I can’t have any of those things. Oh yes, people cheerfully point out that there are lots of gluten free options these days…and there are,…but they’re not the same. I hate that I can’t just go and make a sandwich, I can’t have any biscuit I fancy with my coffee, I even have to have special soy sauce in my stir fry. No more porridge for breakfast, muesli bars with my cup of tea, no warm bread straight from the breadmaker, no hot donuts at the beach, no fish and chips, no pizza, no tempura…need I go on?

I have to think about every single thing I eat, I have to read labels in the supermarket, I have to refuse the treats that are handed out at the weekly morning tea at work. And frankly, in most cases the gluten free options leave me cold. If made with GF flour they have an unappetising powdery texture and a vaguely odd flavour.

However, I am gradually coming to realise that this is my life now and I have to adapt. I won’t starve, I’m not dying and I’m sure there is a world of new taste experiences out there waiting to be explored. and most chocolate is ok for me. Things could be worse.

Just don’t eat a croissant in front of me.

Saturday mornings

Sometimes on a Saturday morning I listen to the busy sounds of ‘other people’.  They’re all out there mowing their lawns and hanging their washing and playing with their kids and sanding their latest projects and…well you get the idea.

Saturday mornings for me are quite different.  During the week I am up every day at 5.30am and fall exhausted into bed at 10.30 if I’m lucky.  Only then do I relax and read for half an hour or so before turning out the light usually after smacking myself in the face with my book several times as I doze off reading.

So by Saturday morning I have no intention of getting up and launching into vigorous activity.  In fact on a Saturday morning I spend a long time in my pyjamas.  I drink a whole pot of coffee over the course of the morning, graze on the few things I can actually eat these days, read blogs, send emails, farm my farm, browse magazines, stare out the window and generally do absolutely nothing productive.  It’s bliss, it really is.

For a while I felt guilty about all the things my poor neglected house needs to have done to it.  I kept thinking I needed to get up and just get on with domestic chores and be a good housekeeper.  Wash those filthy windows and dust the top of the picture frames.  But the fact is I just can’t.  I’m busy, I’m tired and I am learning to focus my energy (or lack of it) in ways that make sense.  And if that means having one totally lazy, slovenly, unproductive morning a week then so be it.

 

Once I had a farm…

…in fact I still do. It’s not in Africa though, it’s in that global village that is Facebook. Today I’m going to show you my farm because a while ago when I complained about having nothing much to post my friend Dave told me to post about my farm.

So I will.

I’m quite attached to my farm. Occasionally I think I could be putting my time to better use, but the truth is I actually find my farm quite relaxing. I feed my animals, plow my fields, and plant then harvest my crops. I visit my friends and do a bit of work on their farms and generally enjoy myself. It’s not hurting anyone, I’m not killing aliens or destroying civilisations. I’m not spending hours on it, just a few minutes a day quietly farming. Considering I rarely get into my own garden these days it’s a poor but adequate compromise. Admittedly in the beginning I would fret that I might miss my crops ripening and they’d wilt. But now I time them to be available when I’m ready so there’s no pressure any more – and if I don’t get there and they wilt – meh, so what? It’s all good. And I think my farm is quite lovely too….

Move along people, nothing to see here…

I’m a bit concerned that keeping a blog will be a big challenge just now because I don’t have anything to write about. I mean I could give you daily reports on my job but it bores me senseless so I can only imagine how mind numbing it would be to hear it second hand.

You see, I’m just not doing much else. I work, I come home, I do the evening chores, I go to bed.

At the weekend I do the shopping, the cleaning, the washing, the ironing. Then I cook for a few hours, filling the freezer with meals for the next week. Then I make sandwiches and freeze them, sort out various snacks into containers and zip locks ready to pack into lunch boxes each evening during the week. By then it’s Sunday night, I collapse into a chair with a glass of wine and watch Midsomer (often dozing off halfway through). That’s pretty much my week.

No exactly riveting is it?

Friday – Huzzah!!!

I love a Friday. It means the weekend is here (in case you didn’t realise). Also, Friday night is ‘murder night’ on the ABC – usually it’s one of the many British police/detective/murder mystery series. Tonight it’s ‘Trial and Retribution’. To be honest I’m a bit ‘meh’ about ‘Trial and Retribution’ but beggars can’t be choosers. I much prefer Midsomer, or Miss Marple or Poirot.

I feed the children early and we get them off to bed and Tom and I settle in front of the TV with a glass of wine and some dinner (plates on laps - peasant behaviour I know). I’m making Korma tonight with pappadums. Tom tolerates my ‘British Murder Night’ – I don’t think it’s really his ‘thing’ but he humours me and never complains.

This weekend Hannah is away overnight on Saturday and Tom has something to attend so it’s just Aislin and I at home. We’ll watch a movie and eat popcorn I think – well she will, I’m not keen on popcorn. I really hope she doesn’t make me watch Dora the Explorer.

I don’t have much else to report today. It’s hot…but you knew that didn’t you? ‘They’ are telling us a cool change will come through around midday tomorrow. I hope so because today I almost killed someone who stole my parking spot and then I nearly punched an old man who pushed in front of me in a shop. Lucky I wasn’t armed.

A nothing day...

...today. Well, not entirely nothing. First there was swimming (yes I know I'm not supposed to take pictures, what can I say? I'm a rule breaker - recognise anyone? No, didn't think so). The girls both successfully completed their levels and were happy.

I sat under a tree and read while they swam (that's the tree not me).

As we left we stopped at the kiosk to buy a celebratory ice cream. I noticed that they had Monaco Bars, something Cathy has been blogging about here, here and also here. So I thought 'ok, I'm going to get one of those and see what all the fuss is about'.

Now I can see why people mounted a petition to bring back the Monaco Bar...and kudos to Nestle who listened to their customers and brought it back. All I can say is that it's a good job I didn't discover the kiosk had them on day 1 of swimming lessons.

Oh and it's very hot today.

The end.

A green meme

I wasn't tagged but Solsticedreamer offered this meme to anyone who fancied doing it...so here it is!

the rules are simple...
1. link to Green Meme Bloggers
2. link to whoever tagged you
3. include meme number
4. include these guidelines in your post
5. answer questions
6. tag 3 other green bloggers

1. Name two motivations for being green - The terrifying mess we're making of our world and my children...and my children's children...need I go on?
2. Name two eco-unfriendly items that you refuse to give up - My air conditioner and my laptop
3. Are you at peace with, or do you feel guilty about no.2? - A little guilty but not enough to stop me using them both.
4. What are you willing to change but feel unable to/stuck with/unsure how to go about it? - We have plans for water tanks and recycling grey water but it's a lot of work and expense, one day we will do it though.
5. Do you know your carbon footprint for your home? If so, is it larger/smaller than your national average? It's smaller.
6. What's eco-frustrating and/or eco-fantastic about where you live? - We're rural and not close enough to schools/shops/work so must drive everywhere. Great kerbside recycling, good council with subsidies for solar hot water and recycling water.
7. Do you eat local/organic/vegetarian/forage/grow you own? - Yes to all of those.
8. Do you have a green confession? - No I don't.
9. Do you have the support of family and/or friends? - Tom is an environmental scientist so that would be yes. Family and friends have similar philosophies.

Ok, I'm not passing this on, do it if you feel like it!

Did you know....

...that the week of 1 - 7 August is Simplify Your Life Week? Who decided this? I know not. I can't find an official site for it, but I did find 268,000 results for it on Google so it must be real, but I can't promise I'm going to check them all to make sure - sorry, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Interestingly in my research I also discovered that August not only hosts Simplify Your Life Week it also hosts Work Like a Dog Day. Who thinks this stuff up? And I sincerely hope that Work Like a Dog Day doesn't fall in the middle of Simplify Your Life Week or there are going to be some very confused people out there because it seems to me those two events are not compatible.

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm a sucker for simplifying my life. I hanker after a calmer lifestyle, less busy striving, less consumerism, less stuff, less frantic rushing about and so on. In fact I quite fancy a stint at being Amish but not for too long because I think those hats the women wear would make for even worse hat hair than a mortar board and I'd miss my laptop (I'm shallow that way) and I believe every day is Work Like a Dog Day for the Amish (except the sabbath of course). Also I just can't see Tom and the girls going for this......

However, there are other ways I can simplify my life and I'm going to make a list in readiness for Simplify Your Life Week - all suggestions gratefully accepted (although not necessarily acted upon). I shall post this list prior to the event and you can be entertained by how unlikely it will be that I actually do it my newfound simple lifestyle.

If it all works out I'll be renaming this blog - The Simpletons Gazette or something ....oh, wait a minute....

Photo credit - I did not take this photo and I always like to give credit for photos on the blog that I didn't take - however this one is in several places around the internet and none of them give credit to the photographer. If you took this photo and find it here on my blog please let me know who you are so I can credit you.