Yulish stuffs

Yuletide greetings from the Southern Hemisphere. Here I am writing from my blog called ‘Bridget’s Flame’ a Solstice goddess whose flame will pierce the darkness.  Here I am celebrating the Winter Solstice, with all its symbolism around rebirth (of the Sun), introspection and planning for the future. Here I am among all this and with absolutely no idea what the future holds for me.

I have spent yet another 24 hours immersed in the ‘internal debate’ I mentioned in my previous post. Thoughts, plans and ideas playing tag in my head until I thought it might explode and fall right off and into my cornflakes. I’m tired, tired of thinking, tired of being confused and tired of holding on so tightly and having to know NOW. This minute. IMMEDIATELY!

So, when faced with a dilemma of such momentous proportions, I decided to do what any sensible girl would do… I consulted my astrologer.  She said;

“The course of Venus brings you to an even deeper level of thought. Realisations of what motivates you, what really makes you happy in the core of your being, rise to the surface and bloom in the light of consciousness. A freedom and a responsibility in one. ‘For am I now seeking the favour of men, or of God? - St. Paul’”.

Right then. Lovely as it was (thanks St Paul) that didn’t really help, it just confirmed my confusion.

So I did the next logical thing and moved on to my Goddess Tarot iPhone app. For we all know that nothing answers life’s little questions like an iPhone app. It said ‘it is time for us to take our fantasies and transform them into reality’. At first I thought that meant I should make that call to Johnny Depp but it probably didn’t. Unfortunately.

Sigh.

I’ve already said that this week I’m going to blog it all out. A great spewing forth of all the revolting mixed up-ness that has been accumulating in my head for some time now.  It’s not life and death. It’s not even that important in the grand scheme of things. In fact at times it will make me sound like a whiny, ungrateful little pain in arse.  Sorry about that.

Because really, what have I got to complain about? With my health and my education and my family and a roof over my head and food to eat and shiny things to play with.

Yeah. Well unfortunately saying all that doesn’t make it go away, it doesn’t ease my confusion or pull me up by my bootstraps or help me make decisions about how I want my life to be.

So…tonight I’ll light a candle, meditate on the solstice, fly my freak flag from the tallest tower and then tomorrow… I will begin.

Solstice blessings to you all.