Sometimes on a Saturday morning I listen to the busy sounds of ‘other people’. They’re all out there mowing their lawns and hanging their washing and playing with their kids and sanding their latest projects and…well you get the idea.
Saturday mornings for me are quite different. During the week I am up every day at 5.30am and fall exhausted into bed at 10.30 if I’m lucky. Only then do I relax and read for half an hour or so before turning out the light usually after smacking myself in the face with my book several times as I doze off reading.
So by Saturday morning I have no intention of getting up and launching into vigorous activity. In fact on a Saturday morning I spend a long time in my pyjamas. I drink a whole pot of coffee over the course of the morning, graze on the few things I can actually eat these days, read blogs, send emails, farm my farm, browse magazines, stare out the window and generally do absolutely nothing productive. It’s bliss, it really is.
For a while I felt guilty about all the things my poor neglected house needs to have done to it. I kept thinking I needed to get up and just get on with domestic chores and be a good housekeeper. Wash those filthy windows and dust the top of the picture frames. But the fact is I just can’t. I’m busy, I’m tired and I am learning to focus my energy (or lack of it) in ways that make sense. And if that means having one totally lazy, slovenly, unproductive morning a week then so be it.
6 comments:
Why can't the whole of life be like bricklaying? Build a wall, and when it's finished, it's finished, and will stand there for years. Dust the house, on the other hand, and next year you'll have to do it again.
I couldn't agree more, Dave.
And I agree with you too, Caitlin. In the days when I was an 8 stone weakling, I had energy but no reserves and when I'd used up the energy I had to stop. So I learned to pace myself. My brain still needs plenty of down-time, not that it works hard at the best, so I have to factor it in or else I'll get a splitting headache or migraine and have to stop anyway.
No one ever looks back at their life and regrets the lack of housework. Unless, of course, they are lying smothered under a stack of old newspapers and unwashed dishes.
I agree Dave, dusting is such poor use of my valuable time. I'd much rather build a wall.
Thank you Z, that's exactly how I'm coming to think of it - it's about pacing myself and knowing my limitations, and these days, being a bit particular about where I expend precious energy.
I'll keep on top of the dishes and newspapers though...just in case.
With the greatest respect. I notice that in your introduction, you mention that you teach mindfulness to others, yet as far as I can se, you spend all of your time procrastinating and pondering, about things you could or should be doing!
The whole point of being in a mindful state is to fully savour each moment, just do what needs to be done, don't waste time analysing about it. What else is there to be done really?
As the old Zen master said to the student who asked how he should achieve enlightenment, that if he had finished his breakfast, he should wash his bowl out. You see mindfulness is this, it is being aware of this ever present moment now. With no thought of what 'I,' could or should be doing! Let your ral natire shine though.
Warmest wishes
John
Hi John, thanks for your comment, I don't believe we've 'met' before have we?
You are absolutely right of course, I'm a long way from enlightenment and I admit to being a flawed human woman struggling with the middle path - but I am trying.
What I was actually saying here is that on this occasion I DID realise that the most important thing for me to do was to be mindful and stay in the moment and that's exactly what I did - instead of rushing forward with mindless busy-ness as I so often do. Perhaps that didn't come across. This blog is not about my journey with Buddhism therefore I rarely discuss it or use that particular terminology here.
However, I do want to reassure you that I don't 'spend all of my time procrastinating and pondering'. I do over-analyse that’s for sure, and when I need to do that (because I am not the perfect Buddhist) my blog is where I come. I don't think one can really judge how a person lives or behaves based on a few posts on a blog.
I do teach mindfulness meditation and I am a student of Buddhism, ‘student’ being the operative word here. I don’t proclaim myself a Zen Master on this blog, in my life or with my meditation groups. I am learning. Sometimes I get it right, most of the time I don’t – but I know I don’t – and as long as I continue to try, with awareness and compassion, then I think I’ll be ok.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts John, I visited your blog and enjoyed it very much.
All I was going to say was "yay!" I love mornings like that...sometimes I'll sit in my pj's, reading the paper whilst the kids run (and fight) around me, also in their pjs...and it is bliss!
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