Countdown

I only have two days until I have to start work full time again (only for a month though).  All of a sudden, after having nearly 4 weeks off,  I’ve thought about a load of things I need to do.

So now I’m frantically trying to do them.

Blogging isn’t one of them.

I don’t know why I do this, maybe I overestimate the time I have available or underestimate what needs to be done. Or maybe I just hide and procrastinate.  After all I wouldn’t want to succeed would I?

One day I need to think about this. In the meantime I need to get on with some work so please excuse the brief post while I try to do something productive.

Anzac Day 2010

Lest we forget…

Not socks

Just a quick post today.  I don’t have much computer access at the moment as Tom is  hogging the laptop  working on his essay.  We really must invest in a second computer. So instead I am ‘enjoying’ domestic duties such as washing, ironing, cleaning the bathroom and my favourite…picking up the dog pooh from the back garden.  You had no idea my life was so glamorous did you?

This afternoon, however, will be dedicated to genuinely enjoyable pursuits.  I’m finishing the hat I started for myself last winter…

…excuse the terrible photo, taken with my phone right in front of the window (because I was too lazy to get up and do a better job). What you can’t see is that is a lovely lavender coloured ‘tweed’ yarn.  Check out the three needles…I’m still impressed with myself that I can actually knit that way now, because seriously, I’m usually pretty inept with that sort of thing.  Anyway, I’ll post a photo of the finished article - soon I hope.

So that’s my Saturday, what does this day hold for you?

Today’s news

I got the temporary position I was hoping for.  It starts next Thursday and is only for a month.  Which is perfect.   More about that in another post.

I had lunch today with some friends from my previous place of employment.  The girl who replaced me also came to lunch and I was gratified to hear that it’s just as crap as I thought it was.   Lunch was delicious, the company was excellent and the gin and tonic was perfect.

I did some grocery shopping this afternoon.  It was tedious.  I totally loathe shopping.

Then I went to the pet shop and bought the rats a wheel and a salt lick and I got Jack some pig’s ears and a rawhide bone.  He still chews everything he can get his teeth on so I’m constantly trying to distract him with things he’s actually ALLOWED to chew.

Steak and salad for dinner tonight.

End of another day.

 

Sunshiny

In true Autumn fashion we are experiencing schizophrenic weather conditions, one day cool and raining, then sunny, then wild winds and thunder storms, then dry but crisp, then warm but raining (ugh – humidity) and so on.  Yesterday was cool and raining, today is sunny and warmish.

Since it was nice outside I decided to put our Rattus Norvegicus girls out for a bit of air.  They were very excited with the fresh breeze and new smells and Jack was beside himself with joy to find them in such close proximity.

Apart from that it’s just washing and ironing and preparing dinner and other mundane tasks today.  I’m not complaining though, at least I’m at home.

Blissful sigh.

What’s next?

The girls went back to school today.  When I left work (3 weeks ago) I said I’d take the school holidays off and then perhaps do some temping, or get something happening with the business or, worst case scenario, get another job. Gah.

So, right about now I am contemplating these options.  I have registered with an agency (recruitment and temping) and it’s just a case of wait and see.  I’m unsure about the business because if I start something then get a job I won’t be able to continue with it.  A dilemma. In the meantime I’m trying to enjoy a little bit more time at home (without panicking too much over the electricity bill). 

One of things I’m thinking about doing is some more knitting.  Last time my sister was here she showed me how to knit socks (using 4 needles).  I knitted my first pair…

..not perfect I admit but my first attempt and I was pretty pleased with myself.

So much so that I decided I was going to make socks for everyone I knew.  So I went to my favourite sock yarn site and bought two skeins…(I know more than two people, that was just to start with…in theory)…    
 

…but didn’t knit another stitch.  Well that’s not entirely true, I knitted Tom a hat and started a hat for myself (last winter) but then it all got busy and depressing and I knitted no more. I am now feeling ready to embark on a project.  I’m not quite ready for socks yet (need to ease myself in) but I do like this little scarf.   So I’m going to have a go at it. 

Link for scarf

Watch this space for photos of either, a scarf looking rather like that one above, or a lump bearing a closer resemblance to something the dog brought up.

Quick post

The girls go back to school tomorrow after their two week break, so today is a whirlwind of preparation and not much time for blogging.

I had a day off yesterday, we’d been so busy and had a couple of late nights and I was tired.  We ended up having a quiet day at home, Tom worked on an essay and I just puttered about.  I did find a pattern that got me all enthused for knitting again (more about that in another post) and that then led me to Ravelry which I hadn’t visited for some time.  It was nice to reconnect there although it can be even more addictive than Facebook.

So now I must go and drag out winter school uniforms, make sure everything is in good repair (which I think it is because I checked before I put them away last spring).  

The Handless Maiden, Wolves and the Voice of the Earth

I’m still dwelling on the week that was. I’ve never been one to just accept ‘what is’ I always examine and analyse and consider.  I look at the externals and assess the situation then I look at the internals (a much scarier place) and wonder at the stuff that goes on inside.  I notice the symbols and synchronicities and marvel at how it all works.  Often at the end of all this I’m none the wiser, but just sometimes I see a pattern or a message I should be aware of (yes, I’m also an over-thinker at times).

This week has been particularly interesting.  First of all…wolves.  Everywhere.  I turn on the television and there are wolves (not just once….THREE TIMES), I open a book and more wolves, I do a Facebook quiz and get the wolf, someone tells me a story….about wolves (completely random and out of the blue).  Anyway, you get the idea…wolves are all around me.   My Druid Animal Oracle tells me the wolf is about ‘Intuition, Learning and the Shadow’. 

I’ve been having some really strange and vivid dreams too.  The ultimate was when I dreamt that someone had cut off my hands.  It wasn’t gory or frightening, I didn’t dream the actual cutting, just the aftermath and an ‘oh crap, this is going to inconvenient' moment.   It’s been 15 years since I read ‘Women Who Run with the Wolves’ (wolves again) but I’ve revisited that to re-read ‘The Handless Maiden’, a story about bargains and initiation and the shadow and so much more.  My favourite quote from the author’s interpretation of the story is "Though we hate to admit it, over and over again the poorest bargain of our lives is the one we make when we forfeit our deep knowing life for one that is far more frail; when we give up our teeth, our claws, our sense, our scent; when we surrender our wilder natures for a promise of something that seems rich but turns out hollow instead..’ Hmmm, what poor bargain have I made?

I also dreamt that a group of youths looking ‘tribal’ broke into my house – I had to fight them…and I did, quite successfully.  Then I went to their leader and told him it was ok, no harm done, just go away and don’t bother me again.  And they did. 

Make of that what you will.  A Jungian psychologist could have a field day with that lot.

Finally, last night as I was sitting quietly meditating on all of this there was a loud bang then a slow rumbling that built up to a fairly significant vibrating and died down again slowly – it all happened over a period of 10 – 15 seconds but it felt a lot longer.  I knew what it was immediately and after the initial adrenalin rush I relaxed into it.  I knew that Mother Earth was feeling just as restless and unsettled as I was, she was having a stretch and bit of a grumble, finding a new level and letting us know she’d done it.  Now there’s a lesson I need to learn.

P.S. Small earthquake on a local fault – 3.8 magnitude. 

Snow balling busy-ness

I’ve had a frustrating week for a variety of reasons.  It seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.  I’ve even managed to get some people off-side and well…let’s face it…mad at me.  Sigh.  I’m SO over it all.  I have found this week to be incredibly draining, both physically and emotionally.

I had hoped for at least one day at home, with nothing to do but potter and enjoy some peace and maybe do a little business work – it hasn’t happened.  And it’s not going to happen today either.   We have a birthday party to attend for one of Aislin’s friends and that in itself isn’t a problem.  However, I have offered to arrive early to help set up etc (I know what it’s like organising a child’s party), I also have volunteered to pick up another child and take them to the party as their mother is working (I know what that’s like too).  We also have to stop and buy a birthday present as I’ve been so busy all week I haven’t had a chance to do that yet.   So I’ve managed to create some extra running around for myself, it’s not frantic – just time consuming and ultimately tiring.  And I’m already very tired.

I would sell my soul for a week, ALL ALONE at the beach house.  But I won’t be getting that any time soon either.

Here ends the self-pity post.

 

Another door opens…

Within a few hours of yesterday’s disappointment I received a call from the agency about a job that had just come in.  They felt I was ideally suited to the role and asked me to come in (again) for a chat about it.  I agreed and I’m going in this afternoon.

The only thing is this position is a full time, permanent one.  It’s a good job, again writing curriculum and coordinating learning and development within an organisation.  I should be happy and I am…sort of.  I’m just not sure I want something quite so…committed.   I’d really like something similar to that, interesting company, challenging work, utilising my skills, experience and my degree, but part time, maybe 2 or 3 days a week.  I’m sure a job like that, with my name on it, exists.  Just not sure where. 

Working full time is a bit of a nightmare the way it impacts on family life, leave early, home late, always rushing.  Also not being able to get to things at school and always being busy and tired. It’s no fun.  It also leaves me no time to work on the business (which is my ultimate goal).

So, I don’t know what will happen today – it may not be suitable once we talk about it so I’ll be back to square one.  I still feel like I’m in some strange, unsettled place with the future uncertain.  I’m not enjoying this at all. Which seems a bit ungrateful, I know I’m lucky to be in a position where I can be offered good, well paid jobs, but is it really too much to ask to have something a bit more suited to family life (not to mention my sanity)?

Oops!

I nearly forgot to blog!  I’ve been busy since yesterday and hardly had to time have a cup of tea never mind blog.  I finally had a quiet moment, checked my emails and had a peak at Facebook and was just thinking I should go and get that casserole in the oven when I was overcome with the nagging feeling that I’d forgotten to do something…and I had.

So, I had a slight disappointment today.  I have decided that until I get my act together and decide what I’m really going to do with my life I will do some temporary and short contract work.  I rang an agency on Monday who just happened to have an ideal position available and were having trouble filling it – they were very excited to hear from me.  It was an instructional design role, writing training curriculum for a big company.  It was temporary but that’s fine I want temporary.  I set up an interview with the agency (the official registering with them bit) and went in today.  Sadly, that position had been withdrawn.  I was a little disappointed but still went through the testing and interview and the consultant felt confident that there would be something suitable in the future.  I said I’d do admin work or whatever until something else came along.  She wants to avoid me doing that for too long as it’s ‘not a match for my high level skill set’ ha.  Anyway, I'm not ready to jump off a bridge or anything as I’m sure there will be something else along any minute. Ahem.

If it’s Tuesday….

…it must be swimming lessons.  Not for me you understand but for my daughters. But not until this afternoon.  This morning I am continuing to work on business type stuff.  It’s nice, Jack is asleep on my feet under the desk, he always lies there when I work.  When I was working ‘outside the home’ I missed having him there with me.  Apparently they had some stupid rule that said people couldn’t take their dogs to work. We all consoled ourselves and each other by looking at photos of each others’ dogs, praising their loveliness and talking about them a lot.  We did a bit of work as well but that wasn’t as much fun.

Later on I shall meet ‘M’ and retrieve my children and take said children to their swimming lesson.   Then I have to come home and cook for the freezer (that is cook food to put in the freezer not cook food for the freezer to eat, but I’m pretty sure you’d worked that out yourselves).

I did manage to do some work yesterday and I’ve made a bit of a start this morning.  After reading about Dave’s gorgeous new live-in lady and shedding a tear over Laoi’s civil war letter and reading numerous other blog posts of course. 

But now…back to it.

Shhh…you didn’t see me

Today a friend (I shall call her 'M’ – nothing to do with James Bond) insisted on taking my children off my hands and caring for them overnight on the proviso that I spent the free time working on some business projects.  These projects are overdue because it’s been almost impossible to work on them while the children have been here (school holidays). ‘M’ is a strong supporter of my getting the business off the ground and having MY two children also means HER two children are occupied which allows her to …well I don’t know what she’ll do but whatever, it’s a win-win.

So here I am sitting at the computer working on the projects.  No, well spotted…I’m NOT am I?  I’m blogging and eating my way through a large tub of mango yoghurt.  I’m desperately trying to stay off Facebook and ignore Farmville…what is wrong with me??  I finally have some desperately needed free time and I’m faffing about on useless pursuits (well blogging isn’t a useless pursuit and the yoghurt is delicious but you get my drift). 

I had intended to share my misery with you today but that will be a long post I suspect and I’d better do something more productive.  I’m pretty sure ‘M’ will insist on seeing evidence of how I spent my time, and a lengthy, depressing blog post about hard done by I am will not impress her.  At all.

 

Where are all the memes when you need one?

I have no news since yesterday.  Apart from the fact that we did complete those sewing projects* and I did watch two episodes of ‘Lost’** there’s not much else to report. 

Today will be even less exciting.  I have some grocery shopping to do (on a Sunday!) and then I have to cook (yuck).  Maybe some more ‘Lost’?  Or that art project I mentioned yesterday?  Who knows.  I have no expectations today.

Actually I’m feeling a little ‘bleh’ today.  The morning started well and it’s been downhill all the way since then.  I don’t know, life’s a bit of a roller coaster at the moment, more about that in another post (just make sure you take your anti-depressants before reading it – you know how tedious I am when I’m maudlin). 

Anyway, onwards and upwards.  Have a lovely Sunday preciouses (yes, I know it’s not a word).

* We made rat beds and rat hammocks.  No end to glamour round here.

** I started watching ‘Lost’ on DVD last winter.  I’m currently a series behind the TV episodes and I can’t rely on catching all the TV ones so I prefer to watch it at my own pace.  It’s been strangely addictive.   Anyway, Hannah saw a couple of early episodes with me then I decided it probably wasn’t suitable for a 9 year old (when I saw her running around with a water pistol tucked in the back of her jeans like a hand gun – yikes!).  I’ll put up my hand to a poor parenting moment there.  So she happened to walk in yesterday and saw me watching and said ‘so…what’s happened?’.  I nearly fell of my chair a) because she saw two episodes of series one and I’m watching the END of series 5 – that’s a lot of water under the bridge for the survivors of Oceanic 815 and b) because I have never seen such a complicated, convoluted and hard to follow TV show in my life, I think I know why they call it ‘Lost’ because half the time I AM!!   Honestly, I am hanging on by my fingernails trying to keep track of all the complexities myself  – there’s no way I could even begin to explain it to another person let alone a 9 year old.  Later on Tom walked in and stared at the TV for a minute then took a breath as if to say something….I said ‘please don’t ask’ so he said ‘ok’ and left.

I still love it though.

Habit Forming

Yes, here am I again…at the risk of giving Dave a heart attack I’m blogging 3 DAYS IN A ROW. I’m trying to get back into the habit of blogging.  ‘They’ say you have to do a thing for 3 weeks for it to become part of your normal routine.  I’m not sure who ‘they’ are or whether or not that’s true, or indeed whether I can manage to blog consistently for 3 weeks, but at least for today it’s giving me something to write about.  Wow, that was a long sentence (which is probably what it feels like you are serving as you read this drivel). 

My grammar is crap too you may notice. 

It’s Saturday here, raining again which is lovely after the long, hot, dry summer.  Tom will be working on an essay*, so he’ll be closeted away drinking tea, muttering and tearing at his hair.  Since he’ll be hogging the laptop** I have to find some other way to entertain myself, so the girls and I will embark on some sewing projects and an art project that is due***.   I also may watch a couple of episodes of ‘Lost’.   All in all a lovely way to spend my day I think.

*Not sure if I’ve mentioned Tom is back at University doing a Masters in Science and Public Policy? Well. He is.

** I still have my iPhone so I won’t be totally removed from my beloved interwebs and email.

*** I’m doing a ‘Creative Goddess’ e-course which involves lots of fun with my paints and pastels and other arty materials and little forays into Art Land.  Something I’ve been neglecting for years.

So…what does the weekend have in store for you my lovelies?

 

Feeling Autumnal

The weather is beginning to turn, it’s still in the mid to low twenties, so not cold yet, but wet and dull and overcast.  We’ve had some lovely rain and are having some more today with thunder storms to come.  My favourite kind of weather.  I love Autumn and Winter, I can honestly say those seasons are when I’m at my most contented and most….I don’t know…centred? At peace? Dare I say approaching happy?  Nah, let’s not get carried away there.  :-)

I had a wander in the garden this morning to check out the seasonal changes.  In a little neglected corner I found the first mushrooms of the season (we get lots) – already munched by small creatures.

The trees are beginning to turn…

...gold…

…and burgundy…

…and little raindrops are everywhere.

 

It was lovely. I came inside and sat in my office drinking coffee and listening to household sounds.  The  girls were playing a camping game and making Jack play with them.  He’s so tolerant and was quite happy to pretend to be their pet bear.  The washing machine was swishing gently, the clothes dryer humming and rain on the roof.  Such mundane and domestic sounds and yet soothing.

And then…before I knew it…I’d written a blog post!

How can it be so?

Apparently, according the dating system on blogger, I wrote that last post on 20th March.  I don’t believe this. It can’t possibly have been that long. Can it?

Where do the days go? It’s starting to freak me out a little.  A minute ago it was Christmas and now Easter has come and gone.  Did time speed up?  Can someone please explain this terrifying phenomenon to me? And please don’t say ‘it’s what happens when you get older’ because that will depress me even more.

I feel like my life is speeding past me like a runaway train.

And just so you know…I don’t like it.  Not one bit.