I'm better now

Ok, please excuse yesterday's little outburst, I'm feeling better today. I have decided to follow Z's wise advice and keep a couple of posts in draft for those occasions that I just cannot rise to the challenge and I think I should also do my posts early in the day, before I start working, then I can relax knowing I've fulfilled my contractual obligations to Dave and I can carry the flag right to end of NaBloPoMo on behalf of my fallen comrade Cathy and remain an inspiration to my doting sister Moyra (yeah, I'm kidding right there - she does love me though).

So I bet you are just dying to know what today brings ....well, it's work. Yes, that's right more stuff about making money and getting clients and making money and did I mention making money....because I need to make some. Sometimes I hanker after the days when I went to my nice spacious, well equipped office (all paid for by someone else - taxpayers in fact) and did the work someone else decided I should do and drank excellent coffee from the wonderful espresso machine (in my office no less) and looked forward to a nice lump of cash being deposited into my bank account on a regular basis. Nowadays I sit in my little office (aka the third bedroom) and have to decide for myself what work I have to do and then I have to do it all myself (no delegating here) and I only get paid if I get clients and they pay me. I still have nice coffee though...no scrimping there. Do I want to change that? Do I hell. Yes, it can hard and I'll admit that sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed by the work and the responsibility to make money and struggle to get clients but all in all I don't want to change any of it. I can drop my children at school, stay for half an hour and do reading or other activities, I can run errands, come home and put a load of washing on while I work, I make my own decisions all day long and go and pick up the girls from school at home time. I have all the benefits of being a stay-at-home-mum with the bonus of still having a job (a sort of badly-paid-enormous-amount-of- work-job, but still a job). I like that.

I'm still in touch with a few of my colleagues from work and today I heard that the department is being closed down and some staff will be moved to two other colleges and others will lose their jobs. No consultation - decision made. If I was still there I might be one of the ones to lose my job (I worked part time) if not I'd be commuting to colleges much further away, colleges I didn't choose to work for. I'm glad I'm not there any more.

It just makes me all the more determined to make this business work.

Which I won't do if I stay here blogging about it instead of doing it.