Sunday, February 28

Where’s my parachute?

I've had trouble blogging for quite some time now (some of you may have noticed).  It’s not laziness or even busy-ness  that stops me (although I am busy) , it’s much more about the turmoil in my head.

I sit down and open up Live Writer then go blank.  I have no idea how to get my thoughts out of my head and onto the blog.  Sometimes I think ‘just write about anything’ but there is so much other ‘stuff’ it’s difficult to do even that.

It’s nothing terribly dramatic or cause for concern, just a kind of general confusion and angst.   You may recall that I have been working full time since last August.  I have blogged about it and made it clear that I don’t like the job.  I still don’t like it, in fact in December I tried 3 times to resign.  They talked me into staying – the general manager asked me to stay at least until February and see how I felt then  as a ‘personal favour’ to him.  It’s hard to say no to that without seeming unreasonable. February came and I felt the same way so I resigned again.  This time they believed I meant it and ‘reluctantly’ accepted my resignation.  Apparently they were very ‘disappointed’.  I don’t really care.  I finish there on 26 March. 

Now I feel a bit lighter but with something new to worry about.  How will I earn money?  What I really want to do is get my business going again and work from home as I used to.   Of course there is a lot of fear and trepidation and ‘what ifs’ around that.  Taking the leap, without any kind of real solid basis for taking the leap and without a working parachute (or any parachute at all if I’m honest).   In other words A RISK!!! Scary, scary stuff. 

Let’s hope I can fly.



Dave said...

You have my wholehearted support.

Z said...

Being too cautious evidently doesn't suit you. Good for you, you've had long enough to think about it to know you're doing the right thing.

Cathy said...

It's easy for us to say "go for it", but I think deep down that's what you know you want and have to do (if that makes sense). Being in a job that makes you miserable is no way to spend your life...if things go haywire with the home business, i'm sure you could find other work...but to not try at all will leave you wondering and longing... GOOD LUCK!! Hope you not only fly, but soar :) xxx

laoi gaul~williams said...

go for it!
you have lots of good vibes coming from me here in the ancient forest :)

life is too short to be miserable no?

Anonymous said...

Thank you all, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I won't hold you all responsible if my children end up down the mines, it's just lovely to know I have your support. XXXX

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