Tuesday, November 27

To market, to market....

About 3 weeks ago I agreed to go along on a kindy excursion (scheduled for today) to the big produce market in the city . Why? Hell, I dunno. However I said I'd go and go I did. Each adult was provided with 2 children to supervise and a small sum of money for the kids to practice 'shopping' by purchasing fruit (to make fruit salad) and something for themselves. Each child was to buy $1 worth of fruit and spend $1 on themselves. My two charges (one of them my own daughter) spent $14 on fruit....well... I coughed up the extra $12 actually because they were a bit short on funds today. It's not like they bought a lot of fruit, just expensive fruit. Then they each wanted to buy a pastry with their extra $1. Of course my two chose pastries that cost $1.40. Once again I subsidised this.

It was an expensive day. Not to mention the stress of supervising two enthusiastic 4 year olds who seem to have the power to make themselves momentarily invisible, which in turn caused me to whirl like like a Dervish screaming their names only to find them standing innocently right beside me - yeah, I acknowledge it could just have been my own paranoia. I had no desire to turn up back at the bus and explain how I'd lost two children. Things really came to a head when we stopped for a break at a cafe. The girls were enjoying the art work - kind of modern abstract stuff with lots of nudes. I felt it appropriate to leave when they decided one of the nudes had hilarious 'boobies' a fact they announced long and loud to the entire cafe. Then Aislin told me that in actual fact they looked a lot like my boobies. I swear it took the poor man at the next table every ounce of willpower he possessed not to make the comparison. Definitely time to go.

I came to the conclusion on the bus ride back that I am not cut out to be a kindy teacher.

Monday, November 26


It was my birthday yesterday. There were cards....

Leathergoods - always popular (it's a card wallet)

Wine (supplied by my father-in-law)

Sweet things (supplied by my mother-in-law)

And cold hard cash (supplied by the Australian Mint)

My in-laws stayed for the weekend and babysat TWICE so that Tom and I could go out. We went to the movies on Saturday and out for dinner last night. So grown up.

But I can't end this post without mentioning the best present I could have hoped for despite repeatedly saying I won't mention politics on this blog (usually when mentioning politics)....

....yeah....bye bye Johnny!

But I'll leave you guessing by telling you that I didn't vote for the other guy either (although he is preferable to this one). I'm way more left wing than that comrade.

Saturday, November 24

Kevin '07

I'd love to credit the owner of this image but I don't know who you are. However, thank you. It's funny and it's also true.

Tuesday, November 20

Just filling my days....

.....since Friday. Oh it is heaven...heaven I tell you. I spent the weekend partying with the kids, they are delighted not to be competing with the laptop for my attention any more. They planned the celebratory party, however their planning only got as far as balloons, cherry jelly and chocolate cake. Fortunately Tom came to the rescue with booze. They made me a poster with 'play not s-ay' on it. S-ay - essay. Cute. So we've been playing. It's been fun, I'm a bit bored with the play dough though.

Today I had the day to myself, Hannah was at school, Aislin at kindergarten. I pottered in the veggie patch, pruned and tied my tomatoes and weeded the beds. Guilt free. At no point did I think 'I really better get back to that assignment'. Not once. The only nagging feeling I had was about getting another cup of tea into me before I picked the girls up.

At one stage I glanced out of the kitchen window and saw this.....a kookaburra!!

Then it was time to pick up the girls and just as I was heading there I got a phone call from the school telling me Hannah was in the first aid room, she'd had an accident and been hit the eye with 'sports equipment'. Fabulous. So I dash to kindy, pick up Aislin then head to the school where I find her sad and sorry for herself and a little bit tearful. The doctor has checked it out and she has a graze on the surface of the eye, on the white not the cornea though, her eye is very swollen and she'll probably have a shiner tomorrow. It's all pretty sore...this says it all.....

Apparently the perpetrator, just prior to doing this, was telling them all how he had won a gold medal in the Olympics for throwing. He's seven. I'm suspecting that's not entirely true.

Obviously there is a extreme lack of 'you'll have someone's eye out with that' in his house.

Friday, November 16


.....and now would someone please open the bar.....mine's a G&T.....large.

Because someone in the room just finished a degree.


Tuesday, November 13


Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God....can it really be true? Or am I going to wake up and find it's only the 10th August and I haven't even started this semester's work yet?

I have two messages.

One for God or whatever higher power is in charge of Uni assignments. Please let me pass everything. I know I've passed everything to date, but....you know...keep a special eye on it now.... would you mind? Amen.

One for me. Don't. Fuck. It. Up.

The end.

Sunday, November 11

Clowns to the left of me...jokers to the right...

I have a phobia. It's serious and has been known to reduce me to tears and cause a racing heart and anxiety attacks.

This is it.....

Yep, clowns. I'm terrified of them. So you can imagine my delight when once a year the annual Christmas Pageant comes round.... oh yeah let me at it.....

However, my children love to go. So we go. It's very, very popular which means we need to get there at least a couple of hours before it starts to secure a good spot. So yesterday morning we were up at an ungodly hour and all packed sleepily into the car so that we could get there before the hoards. We arrived, a full two hours before take off and still didn't get a front row spot. However, we were closer than last year so we settled in, marking our territory with a picnic rug and some fold up chairs (this is serious business people). Tom went off to get me coffee (because he's scared of caffeine-free me) and soon returned laden with a couple of lattes and a selection of fresh pastries like the good hunter-gatherer he is.

Almost as soon as we settled in the warm-up acts began. Clowns. Because we all know how hilarious they are don't we? Walking, running, skipping, dancing, uni-cycling clowns. Big, over made-up freaks with giant shoes. Sorry, I just do not see the attraction. So, I read the paper, white knuckled thinking 'don't come near me, don't come near me'. But they're like cats aren't they, they can smell your fear so of course they were hanging around us A LOT!

Here's another one

And the crowds.....good God in heaven why do we do this to ourselves?

There are more photos of floats, fairies, princesses, more clowns and of course the main man himself (Santa) but I am so exhausted trying to download the clowns without actually looking at the computer that I've quit for the day.

Special thanks to Hannah who acted as photographer because she got sick of me falling backwards off my chair every time I got a clown in the view finder.

Fun times.

Saturday, November 10


Another one bites the dust.....

Oh, hello freedom...is that you I see a week away?

Thursday, November 8

Clouds and Koalas

All on the way home today.....

Pretty clouds...

and I know it's hard to tell...but it is a koala

Tuesday, November 6

Don't ask stupid questions

When I picked Hannah up from school she got into the car with a face like thunder, grumpily saying she was tired and had a headache from all the screaming. 'Screaming?' I asked. 'Yes, the screaming during the race' she replied. Like all good Catholic schools our school encourages the children to get involved in gambling from an early age. So they went to the hall to watch the Melbourne Cup, also known as 'the race that stops a nation'. This is no exaggeration, a news report this afternoon has claimed that a judge allowed the jury to leave a trial to watch it.

I don't give a shit about horse races had forgotten it was on and the conversation went like this...

Me: Oh, so you saw it....the race?

Hannah: Yep.

Me: Right.....hmm, ok.... was it good?

Hannah: Yep.

Me: So....who won then...?

Hannah: The black one.

Me: Oh. Ok. ???????????

And in totally unrelated news I have just noticed that this is my 100th post!! I had planned some kind of celebration if I ever reached 100 posts but ....meh.... no time. I'll just quietly congratulate myself and get drunk on medicinal Chivas Regal since there are no painkillers left (see previous post).

Hang on.....how about this? Not entirely accurate but close enough.


Double trouble

I'm still deciding what has been the crappest part of today. Working on yet another frickin' essay or going to the dentist. It's a hard call. I'll hold off on my decision for a while though. There may be other contenders, after all, it's only 2pm.

I'll get back to you.

**Update** And we have a winner.....still having toothache after going to the dentist (and paying $88) and realising we've run out of painkillers. It's going to be an interesting night.

Monday, November 5


One more assignment down - three to go.

I worked all day Saturday and all of Sunday morning to finish it. Then I decided to have a break and spend some time with my neglected husband and children. It was cold and raining so we....

......got the paints out.

Guess which paintings are mine?

Then Tom made scones......

.....which we ate with home made strawberry jam (courtesy of my mother-in-law)

Now for the next assignment.......

Friday, November 2

A little of this and that...

...so not much blogging from me recently, a couple of fillers to keep my hand in but no real news - sorry. The essay/assignment writing is sapping my energy and I'm feeling the stress, but it will all be over soon.

So today I'll do a little catch up.

Uni update, 14 days and 4 assignments to go. No more to say on that topic - it's making me cry.

I joined a new gym that has opened nearby. The gym used to be my exercise of choice, I was a 4 times a week girl for a long time. Having babies, then moving away from a convenient gym put an end to that. However a brand new gym recently opened 8 minutes from home. So in I went and signed up. I've been twice this week and it felt good to get some exercise. I've previously mentioned my expanding butt since finishing work, hopefully this will address the problem. It's a bit different to what I'm used to, it's women only for a start (no bad thing) and there's a circuit and a requirement to alternate weights with cardio using these springy little board things. I have no sense of rythm and even less coordination so the gym staff get their entertainment from my manic flailings. They should be paying me to go there for the endless fun I provide.

Paradoxically the stress of Uni is causing me to eat more than usual. I won't say how many double choc chip cookies I've already eaten today (five) and it's only 1pm.

My house is a mess. A huge, messy, untidy, in-serious-need-of-a-good-clean kind of mess. This depresses me like you wouldn't believe but I really just cannot dedicate the time to it just now. So it will have to wait. It also depresses and frustrates me that 'no-one' else who lives here is offering to clean it or even attempting to be a little bit tidier to reduce the mess. In fact the other day my children were quietly playing in their room (I should have been suspicious of that) and I later discovered that they'd played 'snow' tearing the contents of a whole box of tissues into teeny, tiny, wee pieces and throwing it all over the room. It's only partially cleaned up even now.

On a brighter note I am having a couple of hours off tonight to go to a friend's exhibition opening. My sister-in-law is coming with me (she is coincidentally finishing her degree right now as well - we both need a break) so we're taking a couple of hours to drink a glass (or three) of wine, eat some finger food, mix with some other human beings that don't need cleaning up after and look at some beautiful Persian Art (lots of textiles, rugs etc but other stuff too) while listening to Persian music. Quite looking forward to it. I may forget to come home.

I'm sure there are other things to tell, such as why the entire contents of my bathroom cupboard are on the desk in the office or how Sophie is posessed by the spirit of an angry leopard or simiar and has turned into Sophie the bitch cat from hell. But that will have to wait for another day.