Plans and viruses

Wow, time has passed.

I'm not quite sure how so much time passed... but that's always been a problem here at Bridget's Flame. 

So...these many weeks...what have I been doing? I promised myself more art time and I have been doing that, I've also been pondering. And musing. And considering. There has been a little hatching of plans and dreams. There has also been nearly three weeks of illness. A 'virus' then a secondary infection causing pharyngitis.  Boring. And exhausting.

Today I am tired.  The quack doctor says there will be some recovery time needed and it will be a couple more weeks before my energy returns.  This frustrates me.

So, I'm trying to listen to the messages my body is sending.  Rest, relax, recover.  I'm trying to be easy on myself and not give in to tantrums because I can't do the things I want to do just yet.  I'm trying to learn the lesson that I've been avoiding learning for months...years. I realised the other day that this has happened before, a few times in fact, at the equinox. It's as though the earth in balance highlights my own lack of it and sidelines me.  I'm learning that I can't do everything.  Also, it's ok that I can't do everything.  It's ok to stop sometimes. 

Clearly I'm a slow learner.

As we begin Spring and move towards Summer here in the Southern Hemisphere I've decided to make some changes.  The planning continues (in a very relaxed way) and things are going to be very different...and better.

Celebrations

Whether you’re in the Southern Hemisphere (Imbolc) or the Northern Hemisphere (Lammas), blessings to you.

It is also our wedding anniversary and St Sofia’s day…it’s a busy one.

Sláinte.

Halfway

We’re now more than halfway through 2011.  No idea how that happened.

I thought it might be a good time to revisit my plans/goals for 2011.  In January I decided my word for the year was SIMPLIFY.  I wrote about it here.  I also mentioned a ‘20 things’ list I’d made for that.  Now, for my benefit more than anything (sorry to bore you, feel free to click away), I’m going to revisit that list and see how it’s going (I’m not doing all 20 today).

1. Reduce working hours. I have reduced by one day a fortnight. This isn’t enough and I am discussing it further with my manager when he returns from overseas at the end of August. My goal is to work 3 days a week.

2. Declutter – own less.  Working very gradually on this, have decluttered the wardrobe, some kitchen cupboards and a chest of drawers – this item needs more work. A lot more work.

3.  Reduce online presence.  I’m now only a member of one forum group however I have added Google+ to my social networking.  I do use Hootsuite now which keeps it all together but G+ isn’t on there yet.

4. Meal plan, bulk shop and bulk cook. Ummm….no.

5. Create a household folder – contacts, buzz lists, account numbers and insurance details etc. Nope.

6. Unsubscribe from newsletters, websites etc. Yes! Yes I have done this for all but a couple of favourites. Go me.

7. Combine online stuff – Google reader, email, photos, music etc – one log in would be nice. I changed my personal email to Gmail and do a lot in Google now which is good.  I haven’t moved photos from Flickr to Picasa or anything.  This is a work in progress because I’m not actually enjoying Gmail very much so it could all change.

8.  Bundle phones, internet, mobiles etc. Some of it is and some of it isn’t, I can’t decide if I really want all my eggs in one basket despite the apparent savings you make by doing so.

9.  Stop buying stationery I don’t need. *Whistles and wanders away to look at fascinating mark on the wall….*

10.  Set up automatic payments for ALL bills.  Nearly there with this one, still a couple to organise.

Ok, that’ll do. I’ll give myself 6/10 for this effort and to be fair to myself I think that if I can achieve number 1 then a lot of the others will become more achievable.

Samhain Blessings 2011

…for those here in the South.  As we head into the dark I hope it is a time for hatching new adventures and creating wild plans. Sláinte.

Image: Ninth Wave Designs

And Happy Beltane to my Northern Hemisphere friends. Enjoy the light!

This is not a resolution

You may recall that I'm not one for resolutions...why set myself up for failure I say? However I do like to set goals. Goals seem friendlier than resolutions, something to aim for rather than something I resolve to do, then don't do, then beat myself up for not doing.

As always the year began with me leaping head first into 'what can I take on???' mode. I always do it. I get excited about a brand new year and start to plan all the things I'll do with it - courses, workshops, meditations, journalling groups, book groups... for me, those old 'hounds of more' are at their most enthusiastic at new year. Somewhere in the last couple of days, however, I've stopped myself. I paused, examined my habit of over-committing and decided not to do it. Just like that.

It was also right about then I decided my 'word for 2011' is SIMPLIFY. Such a lovely word. 365 project (ok I did sign up, but I then deleted my account) and the Artist's Way group and joining several other groups and forums I was invited to, I just...didn't. Because I know that while my enthusiasm for these things doesn't diminish, my time and energy for them does.

So in the interest of simplication here is my goal for Bridget's Flame this year.

• 
  
  A couple of posts of week... if I can...more if I feel the need or have something to say.

Now I know you've heard it all before...but before I also made a lot of promises to other commitments. My sincere hope is that by keeping my extracurricular activities to an absolute minimum I can go back to basics and just enjoy my blog. I have also organised myself an editorial calendar...much less grand than it sounds...I've just put in a couple of recurring calendar reminders. Because as difficult as this may be to believe, these days a lot of the time I don't post because I'm out of the habit and I forget. How feeble is that?

Spring Equinox 2010

Well Spring may not have quite sprung but it’s definitely on it’s way.  After a very, very wet winter (YAY!!) everything is SO green and lush and beautiful.  The dams are full and as I drove home this morning I had to stop the car and admire the view several times.  It was one of those still mornings where the water is like a sheet of glass and the reflections crystal clear.  I’d have taken a photo but I didn’t have the camera and the iPhone just wasn’t up to the task.

Trees are beginning to bud and some enthusiastic specimens are even putting on a blossom show already. 

Our Spring Equinox celebrations should have been at a music festival this evening (how perfect!), however I am home again with a still sick child (second ear infection in as many weeks) so we may have to forego that. 

In the interest of acknowledging the turning of wheel I shall however plan some low key events for the evening.  A family dinner with vases of blossom on the table, candles, music and a toast to that frilly show-off that is Springtime.

Happy Equinox to you all (be it Spring or Autumn depending on your hemisphere).

Yulish stuffs

Yuletide greetings from the Southern Hemisphere. Here I am writing from my blog called ‘Bridget’s Flame’ a Solstice goddess whose flame will pierce the darkness.  Here I am celebrating the Winter Solstice, with all its symbolism around rebirth (of the Sun), introspection and planning for the future. Here I am among all this and with absolutely no idea what the future holds for me.

I have spent yet another 24 hours immersed in the ‘internal debate’ I mentioned in my previous post. Thoughts, plans and ideas playing tag in my head until I thought it might explode and fall right off and into my cornflakes. I’m tired, tired of thinking, tired of being confused and tired of holding on so tightly and having to know NOW. This minute. IMMEDIATELY!

So, when faced with a dilemma of such momentous proportions, I decided to do what any sensible girl would do… I consulted my astrologer.  She said;

“The course of Venus brings you to an even deeper level of thought. Realisations of what motivates you, what really makes you happy in the core of your being, rise to the surface and bloom in the light of consciousness. A freedom and a responsibility in one. ‘For am I now seeking the favour of men, or of God? - St. Paul’”.

Right then. Lovely as it was (thanks St Paul) that didn’t really help, it just confirmed my confusion.

So I did the next logical thing and moved on to my Goddess Tarot iPhone app. For we all know that nothing answers life’s little questions like an iPhone app. It said ‘it is time for us to take our fantasies and transform them into reality’. At first I thought that meant I should make that call to Johnny Depp but it probably didn’t. Unfortunately.

Sigh.

I’ve already said that this week I’m going to blog it all out. A great spewing forth of all the revolting mixed up-ness that has been accumulating in my head for some time now.  It’s not life and death. It’s not even that important in the grand scheme of things. In fact at times it will make me sound like a whiny, ungrateful little pain in arse.  Sorry about that.

Because really, what have I got to complain about? With my health and my education and my family and a roof over my head and food to eat and shiny things to play with.

Yeah. Well unfortunately saying all that doesn’t make it go away, it doesn’t ease my confusion or pull me up by my bootstraps or help me make decisions about how I want my life to be.

So…tonight I’ll light a candle, meditate on the solstice, fly my freak flag from the tallest tower and then tomorrow… I will begin.

Solstice blessings to you all.

Feeling Autumnal

The weather is beginning to turn, it’s still in the mid to low twenties, so not cold yet, but wet and dull and overcast.  We’ve had some lovely rain and are having some more today with thunder storms to come.  My favourite kind of weather.  I love Autumn and Winter, I can honestly say those seasons are when I’m at my most contented and most….I don’t know…centred? At peace? Dare I say approaching happy?  Nah, let’s not get carried away there.  :-)

I had a wander in the garden this morning to check out the seasonal changes.  In a little neglected corner I found the first mushrooms of the season (we get lots) – already munched by small creatures.

The trees are beginning to turn…

...gold…

…and burgundy…

…and little raindrops are everywhere.

 

It was lovely. I came inside and sat in my office drinking coffee and listening to household sounds.  The  girls were playing a camping game and making Jack play with them.  He’s so tolerant and was quite happy to pretend to be their pet bear.  The washing machine was swishing gently, the clothes dryer humming and rain on the roof.  Such mundane and domestic sounds and yet soothing.

And then…before I knew it…I’d written a blog post!

Solstice Blessings

 

Happy Winter/Summer Solstice – depending on your hemisphere.

I lost a day

On Thursday I woke with a mild headache. By 4pm it was worse and I had some tingling in my lips and fingers. I knew from previous experience this heralded the onset of a migraine. I don't often get them, in fact I think I've only had a dozen my whole life and it's been years since the last one. As expected it progressed as the evenng wore on, the tingling, tiredness, then a period of mental confusion where I can't remember the name of the simplest things, then nausea, then the full blown migraine headache. Tom and the girls went to Hannah's recital without me and by the time they got home I was lying in bed, in the dark, clutching a bowl in case I didn't make it to the bathroom to throw up. Any light or the slightest noise or movement was excrutiating. Lovely.

Tom bought me some lemonade while they were out and Aislin brought me a glass and held it while I sipped from a straw and Hannah sat beside me patting my hand. It was all very comforting (I don't know why lemonade helps, but it does). I assured everyone that I would be better by morning, these never last longer than a day and although I usually feel a bit weak and fuzzy the next day I will not be headachey and nauseous. Tom gave me strong painkillers and I fell into a drugged sleep.

I woke yesterday morning - headachey and nauseous. Dammit.

So I spent most of yesterday dozing and resting and generally waiting to feel better, which I did. Around bedtime. I slept soundly last night and this morning all is well.

So there you have it, the tale of the migraine. This unexpected little adventure caused me to miss a few things - like Hannah's piano recital (T made a video* for me) and of course Beltane. Because in the Southern Hemisphere it's Beltane not Samhain. Something I'll never get used to. It doesn't matter what the seasons are doing some internal clock of mine is still on a Northern Hemisphere schedule and finds it hard to accept anything different.

So yesterday I should have been doing something like this.....

Beltane Fire Festive - April 2008, Calton Hill, Edinburgh

Picture from Zimbio

But I wasn't. So to everyone, I hope you had a happy whatever spiritual event you were celebrating - be it Beltane, Samhain, Halloween or All Souls - the blessings of your tradition to you all.

*This will appear at some stage, I haven't uploaded it yet.

Winter jobs

Burning garden rubbish and toasting marshmallows - bliss.

Autumn

My favourite time of year.

And it's only just begun.

Autumn Equinox

Some wine for the Willow faeries......

and our harvest offering....

And the next morning..........this is what it looks like after a faery piss up....