Monday, June 28

Chapter 3 – The girl who hasn’t a clue

I hope you haven’t all died of anticipation waiting for me to continue this fascinating study of my life.

I won’t keep you waiting a moment longer…

One of the things that I’ve liked about working at my new workplace is the encouragement I’ve had from senior people, I’ve had discussions with a couple of them and they have talked to me about the organisation’s mentoring program (to assist staff move forward on a career path). They’ve also asked me questions about my qualifications and plans for further study. They recognise that I’m not working in my field and that I have skills and qualifications to do much more than I am doing in this role. There are lots of very interesting jobs within this organisation and if I’m going to be working, I wouldn’t mind doing something in this educational sector.

I was recently offered a place on a Masters Program; I would be doing a Master of Education with a speciality in Cognitive Psychology and Educational Practice – which is just a fancy way of saying ‘how people learn’. The managers here were very approving of that.

The thing is…do I really want to commit to years of study (I’d have to do it very part time)? Also, do I actually want a career anymore? I’ve been down that road and chose to leave. I wanted to run my business and be around for my children. Years of working full time and studying part time is not conducive to family life, especially as Tom is working on a Masters himself, so I’ve been picking up a lot of extra ‘home duties’ to support him in his studies. Is this really how I want my future to be? Working all week and studying all weekend? Maybe I would be better to stay with this job (which isn’t too onerous) and spend a little bit of time gradually building my business until it’s at the stage that I can leave work and do only that.

I have to admit I enjoy studying and there is a part of me that would love to get my Masters. I’m just not sure how much I want that. How much of it is a genuine desire for a future in education and how much is it my ego wanting to show the world I can do it?

I don’t have the answers to any of these questions and that is my dilemma. Somehow along the way I have totally lost sight of what I really want and I don’t know how to find that again. But the other problem could be that there are too many possibilities.  Poor little princess.

I know it probably sounds pretty pathetic – there are people in the world with REAL problems and here I am fretting about what to do with my life. But this is the only life I’ve got and I want to make it count AND be happy if that’s possible. I want to be a good example to my children AND be around for them. I want to earn my own money AND be free.

Not much to ask really, is it? No. I didn’t think so either.

19 comments:

Dave said...

What field would you like to be working in? I'd like to be working in a field full of wildflowers.

Dave. MA.

Caitlin said...

I'd quite like to work in a lavender field, that would be quite relaxing I think.

And Dave, please don't call me Ma.

Dave said...

My MA is in 'the theology of ministry and mission'. It is of no practical use.

laoi gaul~williams /I\ said...

ohh what a question!
its hard to say 'if i were in your shoes...' but what would bring you the most peace? working towards your masters for more time for you?
its a hard one!
right now i am glad to be having an 8 month break but still feel guilty for doing 'nothing'!

Z said...

I don't know if this is a one-off opportunity and if you let it go it won't come again, but if not, maybe you could wait and see until next year or even later, and do it if and when you actively want to.

With me, if it's right, I know it. If I'm not sure, it is likely to turn out not to be right at that time, and if I've been persuaded to do it, I struggle. So nowadays, I tend to go by instinct. But that's just me - I'm not suggesting a path to go down.

Also, when your children are older, will you want a career then, and will this Masters be actively useful?

郁雨郁雨 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。.................................................................

Dave said...

I heartily agree with the last comment.

Dave said...

By the way, who is the 'girl' in the title?

啟均 said...

人生是故事的創造與遺忘。............................................................

鄭湘定 said...

加油!!! 很棒的分享~..................................................

吳婷婷 said...

Nothing comes from nothing.............................................................

竹青 said...

hi!~~leave you a message to say hello, and thanks for your share!..................................................................

文郭ss華賴ss添卉顏俊s任 said...

寫文章需要心情~~期待你再一次的好文章............................................................

溫緯李娟王季 said...

看得見您的用心~~希望這裡愈來愈熱鬧哦~~............................................................

雲亨雲亨雲亨 said...

[做人難,人難做,難做人] 人.事的艱困與磨難,是一種考驗!要以樂觀歡喜之心,很珍惜地過每一天!^^............................................................

郁如郁如 said...

拒絕冒險和成長的人,終將被生命的潮流陶汰。.......................................................

楊偉馨楊偉馨 said...

工作,是愛的具體化~~~~努力吧!............................................................

茂慧茂慧 said...

老天爺賦予了強者的能力,就是要他比弱者多擔待.......................................................

芳瑜芳瑜 said...

開懷幸福的生活,是每個人的夢想~~希望大家都能夠實現!...............................................................