Last Thursday I wrote a 'to do' list. When I regained consciousness I hyperventilated. When that stopped I passed out again. So now I carry a brown paper bag everywhere with me and have a cotton ball soaked in smelling salts permanently taped to my nose. Because I'm freaking out just slightly. And that is why, yesterday, in one day, I wrote 2 assignments. Granted, they are very likely the crappest assignments I've ever written, but they're done. I still have one to do, and at the rate I'm knocking them out that should be finished by lunchtime. Except this one is hard dammit.
When that is finished I will commence marking the 3 million assignments that my students have kindly completed for me. I will need drugs and alcohol to get me through that I can tell you.
When that is finished I will be back at work for my last 2 days. I will be clearing my desk, emptying my bookcase and packing up the books, clearing out my computer files, removing pictures, photos and other paraphenalia from my walls, archiving old crap, chucking a ton of stuff in the recycling bin and probably marking some more assignments that panicky little bastards students are trying to get to me before I leave. I mean, really, it's not like it's nuclear holocaust or anything there are other lecturers that can mark your damn assignments! Pfft.
When that is finished I will be drinking. Cocktails. FREE cocktails. And farewelling my colleagues and accepting gifts (I'm not being presumptious here, they've told me there are gifts). And drinking some more, because, well....I'm leaving and the booze is free. So possibly getting tipsy and doing some serious bridge burning with my boss.
When that is finished I'm coming home to put my feet up and watch the first episode of the new series of Dr Who.
Unemployed.
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