Monday, August 6

Is it me or them?

I had a weird kind of day today. I had all these plans that fell flat because....well...I didn't actually plan very well. However, the main weirdness for today happened in that bastion of all things idiotic - the supermarket.

For some reason my local (huge multinational) supermarket doesn't actually sell any food on a Monday. At least not any of the food I want to buy. You know, really way out exotic, for instance. Now that wouldn't bother me personally but my non-vegan husband and children expect to find milk in the fridge. Unreasonable I know, but yet another cross I bravely bear. Anyway. The milk shelves were empty. So were the butter shelves (notice a dairy theme?). For a moment I thought that the government had announced another 'war on....' to add to the wars on drugs, terrorism, heart disease and Barry Humphries and I was quite happy with this new War on Dairy. But no, it was just some kind of post weekend restock. Now my question is....why? These days supermarkets are open every day of the week until late in the evening (in some cases ALL NIGHT - what's that about?) so you'd think that stocking the shelves with such fundamentals as milk would be an ongoing thing...well I would, but clearly I was wrong. I couldn't get any firelighters either. Pfft.

Another other odd thing also happened at the dairy fridges. As I stood there pondering the lack of dairy goods a woman standing beside me pointed to a carton with SOUR CREAM emblazoned across it and said 'is that normal cream?'. I looked at the cream, looked at her, looked back at the cream and thought 'should I state the obvious?' and said, desperately trying to sound as if she had asked a sensible question, ', it's sour cream'. 'Oh' she said 'perhaps I'll just use natural yoghurt instead'. Huh? But wait, there's more....and I kid you not, this man stepped straight into the spot the crazy woman had just vacated, pointed to a carton of thickened cream and said in a puzzled tone....wait for it....'hmmm, thickened that normal cream?' I had to walk away. Otherwise I would have been standing there in Woolworths screaming 'who do I look like....Professor Dairy Foods????' I did wonder if it was some kind of Candid Camera lark but no-one approached me to say so, therefore I can only assume that not only had I chosen Monday which is obviously 'no food in the supermarket day' I had also accidentally stumbled upon 'let the loonies shop alone day'.

Seriously, people are fucking mental.

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