Tuesday, October 21

Restless

I'm feeling edgy today, restless and cross for no reason. Well probably not no reason, life is slightly stressful just now and to top it all I'm homesick again and all of that is manifesting as a kind of restless crankiness. It's a beautiful thing to behold, just ask Tom.

I don't know why I can't just settle here and accept it as my home. I want to, I don't enjoy feeling this way, I really want to let go of the desire to return to the UK and get on living my life here, but I just can't seem to. No matter how hard I try. It still feels temporary, like it's the place I'm living until I can get back to the place I LIVE.

In other news the girls brought home the annual note about school swimming. Every year they spend a week having lessons with the school. The note reminded us that we have to pay $50 for each child. So that's $100 we're up for a month before Christmas. Fabulous. I'm sick of giving that school money (told you I was cranky).

Tom sent me an email from work telling me about a terrible training session he'd attended. He got a feisty email in return for his trouble. I have spent a good deal of time as a college lecturer and I know what it's like to stand in front of groups of students of varying opinion about a) the subject matter b) whether they actually need to be there (because they know it all already) and c) your abilities. It sucks. It's a hard thing to do at the best times and on the occasions that you get some smarty pants, know-it-all git sitting there judging you it's enough to make you pull out the pepper spray (no, I never actually had any pepper spray..... unfortunately). A different story altogether when it's their turn to stand in front of the group and present their major project....with me grading them. Karma I think you'd call it.

Ok, I think I'd better stop now, I'm frothing at the mouth. Be careful with the comments won't you?

8 comments:

Dave said...

I would hate to move away from England - even to Scotland would be too much for me.

Because of my itinerant lifestyle, I have no particular root in any place (and especially not in Kent, where I grew up) - just a feeling of being at home in England itself.

Sympathy.

Caitlin said...

I'm actually just as at home in England as I am in Scotland, I spent a lot of my childhood in England, so both feel like home to me really.

Australia is beautiful, but it will never be 'home'.

So you don't really intend to emigrate to New Zealand then? It's on your bucket list.

Dave said...

I understand NZ is just like England in the 1950's, which is where I would really feel at home.

My bucket list is things to do before I die - so if there's something on the list I haven't done yet, then I can't die, can I?

Leanne said...

I couldnt leave England Caitlin, so I do understand. i spent some of my childhood in Oz,did you know that? Leanne x

Caitlin said...

That's a cunning plan you have there Dave.

Leanne, I didn't know you lived here, where? What did you think of it?

Cathy said...

Don't know what it's like to be living away from "home"...my Mum left Italy when she was in her early twenties and has been back a couple of times. She says she couldn't live there today because her hometown is so tiny and isolated - she is accustomed to living here now. But her Mum and brothers are still there...as was her Dad until his passing early this year... and it's those connections that tug at the heart strings...

kathyann said...

Hi Caitlin,sorry you're feeling so homesick,I have always lived in England so don't really know what it feels like to live anywhere else,but the way I'm feeling at the moment I would love to get away at least for awhile so I suppose I am feeling the opposite to you and yet similar as I too am feeling restless!!Weird isn't it!!!
Take care,love to you all
Kathy and the girls

Caitlin said...

Hi Kathyann, lovely to have a visit from you! I think you can feel restless anywhere and I suppose while you're in limbo waiting for another house as you are it's natural to feel that way. Hopefully things will start to move soon.